


i'm screaming i don't want you (you know that i do)

by comebackbehere



Category: Power Rangers, Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: F/F, make sure you read the trigger warning at the beginning, my poor innocent lil trini goes through a lot, ultimate zack/trini brotp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-11
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-10-17 18:38:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 30,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10599837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/comebackbehere/pseuds/comebackbehere
Summary: “The Hanahaki Disease is an illness born from one-sided love, where the patient coughs up flowers or flower petals. The only cure is to have that love reciprocated, or to somehow wipe away all one’s memories of their beloved person. The infection can be removed through surgery, but the feelings disappear along with the petals.”or the one where Trini is in love and Kimberly is oblivious





	1. she loves me, she loves me not

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning: If blood and/or vomiting makes you squeamish then do not continue on. It's not graphic, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.

“Did you see Zack’s kick though?” Billy exclaims as he claps his hands together while they all pile into the ship. “He took out that guy in one go! It was _so_ cool. Zack, that was so cool!”

 

Zack smirks and gives a dramatic bow as he allows his armor to melt away, “What can I say? I was quick on my feet and I saved a very hot lady from being road kill. All in a day’s work, ladies and gentlemen.”

 

“You all did great out there.” Jason nods as rest of the team morphs back. “I know that was rough today, but we’re still training tomorrow. We need to learn how to work better with our weapons.”

 

Kimberly sighs at his orders, “Can’t we take a break for one day?”

 

Trini smiles ever so hesitantly as Kimberly leans heavily against her side. She can smell the lingering salty scent of sweat on Kimberly’s skin, but the smell of her favorite cherry blossom perfumes pushes through just as strong. It causes her stomach to swoop in an all too familiar way and she clears her throat as a tickle pushes in the back; that same tickle has been the bane of her existence for the last two months.

 

“No breaks.” Jason replies with a stern glance. “Let’s put our weapons up and call it a day.”

 

“Buzzkill.” Kimberly whispers.

 

Trini hates the way her breath catches when Kimberly’s lips brush softly over the shell of her ear. And then she’s gone. She walks away from Trini to walk alongside Jason, and Trini watches her go with a look she can only identify as anguish. Trini is in love with Kimberly, that much she knows, and she also knows that she doesn’t stand a chance. How could someone like her, all broken with pieces that cut, hold a candle to someone like Jason? Trini knows exactly who Kimberly’s heart belongs to and it definitely isn’t her.

 

Suddenly, the tickle becomes more prominent and Trini gags before she reaches into her mouth and slowly pulls a purple petal from her tongue. A flash of fear washes over her as she stares at the dampened flower before she hears the laughter of her friends and she quickly curls it into her fist. With all that has happened to them over the last year, Trini really can’t say she’s surprised that she’s suddenly choking up flower petals; excuse her for thinking her life could be normal for longer than two seconds.

 

Kimberly flashes a breathless smiles and pops up beside her, “Wanna come to dinner with us?”

 

“I-I can’t.” Trini replies as she hastily backs away and avoids the looks of concern she is shot. “I have to watch the boys tonight so I’m just gonna go ahead and go.”

 

Trini is gone with a flash and she leaps from the depths of the water in time to lean over and cough up a handful of flower petals. With shaking hands, Trini gathers them up and cringes before she leaves the ravine and her friends behind.

 

-

 

Trini gets sick. And _fast_. She wakes up the next day with a fever that heats her skin until she is boiling with sweat, and chills that rack through her body. And she can’t _breathe_. God, she can’t breathe. Trini rolls out of bed with a dull thud and her knees press hard against the wood as she heaves, and all that pours from her mouth is blood soaked white petals. The pain erupts within her as she feels another tickle in the back of her throat and adds to the pile.

 

As soon as she finishes, Trini collapses on her side and stares at the pile before her. As her vision begins to blur, all she can think about is that white daisies mean hope.

 

-

 

“Hey, Trin.”

 

Trini looks up from her book and smiles softly at familiar dark eyes, “Hey, Kim. What’s up?”

 

“Huh. I was just about to ask you the same thing.” Kimberly admits as she leans against the locker beside Trini’s. “You weren’t in school yesterday, and you didn’t come to training. I was going to check on you, but Jason wanted me to stay behind to work on a move.”

 

“Of course he did.” Trini grumbles as she slams a book back into her locker.

 

“Okay then.” Kimberly hums as she looks worriedly at her friend. “Trini, are you okay? Where were you yesterday?”

 

Trini swallows down a petal that lingers annoyingly in the back of throat and thinks about her activities the day before; it mostly consisted of coughing and passing out. With a hesitant frown, Trini looks up at Kimberly and she feels her stomach fill with butterflies as she sees the actual worry in brown eyes. She thinks about telling her. What’s the worst that could happen? Trini knows she needs help from _somebody._ She needs Kimberly.

 

Trini sucks in a breath and feels the way the air flutters the petals, “Wanna go to Krispy Kreme after school? I could really use an ear…”

 

“I uh I can’t,” Kimberly frowns as she furrows her brow. “I promised Jason I would help him study after school.”

 

Trini clears her throat and chokes back her cough as that _feeling_ tickles her throat. She wants to scream, but she’s afraid that if she opens her mouth she’ll just empty a handful of flowers at Kimberly’s feet. So instead she simply nods and slams her locker shut, it takes everything she has not to stop when Kimberly calls after her. She doesn’t stop until she is finally in the bathroom with her knuckles turning white as she wraps her fingers around the porcelain and fills the sink with yellow rose petals and blood. The door creaks and she raises her head to see Amanda step through with a look of disgust that slowly melts away to sympathy.

 

Amanda is silent as she moves to grab a paper towel and offer it to Trini, “You should really take care of that.”

 

She leaves without so much as a glance back, and Trini watches her go. She wonders just how much Amanda knows about this. Trini goes to chase after her only to see a flash of Jason in her mind, and then she is back emptying her stomach into the sink.

 

-

 

Trini is huddled in the corner of her room with a trashcan at her side and her phone abandoned at her feet; it lights up with texts every few minutes, but she ignores it. She doesn’t know what to do, and she can’t deny that she is terrified. She thought about calling Kimberly, but the second the girl pops into her head Trini finds that petals come faster and harder. She wonders if this is a punishment, a punishment for how she feels about her best friend.

 

The thought brings her hardest cough yet and Trini can feel the fear rip through her as she sees the petals coated with thick layers of blood. Her hand fumbles for her phone and she types out a text to the one person she knows will help her without question; she gets a response immediately and Trini stumbles to her feet and flings herself from her window in search of answers.

 

-

 

Trini barely makes it to Zack. By the time she does, her chest feels as if it’s on fire and her chin is streaked with blood as she leaves a trail of her pain behind her. The second Zack sees her, he leaps from the top of the train car and scoops her protectively into his embrace. All she can do is cough up purple hyacinth petals against his neck. She can feel him running and she knows exactly where he is taking her, she knows long before she hears the familiar burst of water engulfing her followed by the worried questions from Alpha, and finally Zordon.

 

“Set her down.”

 

Trini groans lightly as Zack lowers them to the floor, “What up, wall face?”

 

“You are in love.” Zordon whispers as he watches Alpha 5 glide to offer a napkin to Zack who quickly wipes the blood from Trini’s chin. “You are suffering from the Hanahaki Disease.”

 

Trini knows this, she already Googled it.

 

“She’s bleeding out flowers!” Zack exclaims.

 

“I-It’s cool.” Trini assures them with a smile that flashes the thin film of blood that coats her teeth. “I’ve been doing it for the last few days, it’s all gucchi.”

 

“Zordon…” Zack breathes out.

 

“Trini, this isn’t something you can ignore. This is dangerous.” Zordon scolds as he stares down at the girl on Zack’s lap. “You have two options to fix this.”

 

“Hire a gardener?” Trini smirks.

 

Zordon ignores her, “You can tell the person about your feelings, and if they reciprocate them then the flowers will slowly die away.”

 

“Not happening.” Trini coughs, and a purple petal flutters onto Zack’s lap.

 

“Or,” Zordon begins as Alpha reaches to slowly pick up the petal and hold it in Trini’s eyeline. “Or you can have your memories of this person wiped from your mind.”

 

The pain in her chest goes straight for her heart at the idea of _forgetting_ Kimberly. How could she choose to forget that laugh? Why would she choose to erase the nights of campouts and giggles? How could she willingly offer up the lingering thoughts of how tight and warm Kimberly’s hugs are? She doesn’t _want_ to forget Kimberly, she loves her too much to do that. But every time she thinks of just how much, a new batch of flowers joins the growing garden in her trashcan.

 

“She’s a part of our team, she can’t just have her memories wiped.” Zack snaps as he protectively tightens his grasp on Trini while glaring at the wall. “There has to be another way, Zordon.”

 

“That is all the information I have on this, Zack.” Zordon sighs. “Trini, you need to tell this person about…”

 

“No.” Trini cuts in. “ _No.”_

 

“Will...can anything happen to her? Will this just eventually fade away?” Zack asks, and Trini cringes as she hears the fear in his voice. “She can’t be seriously hurt by this thing, right?”

 

“Unfortunately, if she doesn’t resolve the issue then there’s a possibility she will suffocate.” Zordon admits. “Trini, I beg of you to think about what I’ve told you. You are only risking yourself.”

 

Zordon disappears and Trini allows her entire weight to fall into Zack as she begins to sift through the things in her head. She knows what she has to do, but it doesn’t mean that she actually will. As Trini begins to cough again she smiles ruefully at a memory of her mother telling a young Trini that a love that doesn’t hurt isn’t a love at all. Trini never thought she’d ever really admit to her mom being right, but as she gargles on petals and blood she realizes that she has no choice but to admit that her mom was very much telling the cold hard truth.

 

-

 

Zack glues himself to Trini’s side. Of course the group is used to them being together, it’s rare to see one without the other, but he takes it to the extreme by sleeping on her _roof_. Trini knows how worried he is, and it annoys her. She can take care of herself, she has been able to since the moment her parents suddenly decided she was grown up enough to; and that was when she was seven. But now? Now she has these four people trailing her, taking small pieces of her and tucking them away for safe keeping; part of her hates it.

 

But mostly it warms her. She has always been so against having friends, she doesn’t like the idea of caring for someone who could easily walk out of her life. The group though? They don’t give her a choice, they don’t _force_ themselves into her life but rather slowly slide themselves into the cracks that have begun to show. Jason knows about her fear of clowns and how much she hates strawberry flavoring. Billy knows she is terrible at science and that she is bullied just as much as he is. Zack knows all the _dark_ parts of her, the parts that matches his.

 

Kimberly? Kimberly knows _everything._ Trini doesn’t mean to slip, but she can’t help the small parts she throws at her friend. Kimberly has seen baby pictures of her, all gap toothed and big eyes. She knows how Trini takes her coffee and what kind of donuts are her favorite. Kimberly knows her favorite color, her favorite day of the year, and all of the places she goes to hide when the world becomes too much. Kimberly knows everything except that Trini is head over heels in love with her.

 

“Trini?”

 

Trini lifts her head sluggishly from the toilet bowl and squints, “Zack? What are you doing here?”

 

“Fuck, T.” Zack breathes out as he rushes to squat beside her. “Trini, this is getting worse every day. We...you need help. You’re going to _die_.”

 

Trini doesn’t think that sounds like such a bad thing, it’s what everyone at school wants. It’s what she wanted two years ago when her parents found her making out with the neighbor’s daughter. She doesn’t tell Zack this, she doesn’t have it in her to shatter him like that. Instead she bows her head and covers his jeans with yellow rose petals.

 

-

 

It falls apart on a Friday at training. Because where else would it happen? They spend every free minute in this little quarry. One minute Trini is laughing carefree with Billy and the next her lips are white and she’s on her hands and knees with blood spilling from her mouth and willows following right behind. Everything sounds so far away as her heaves come heavier, and the pain folds its hands around her and squeezes until she’s breathless. No matter how hard Trini tries, she just can’t _stop_.

 

“What is going on?”

 

“Are those _flowers_?”

 

“Trini!”

 

The voices just blend further together as she fumbles forward to brace her weight on her forearm while sweat glistens along her body. Her stomach stops churning after what seems like forever and Trini gasps desperately for air as she rolls onto her back and stares up at the ship’s ceiling. Around her, everyone is yelling at her but it just remains a distant noise as her eyes begin to flutter; behind her eyelids she sees Kimberly’s smile, and that sight makes her finally give into the darkness.

 

She doesn’t even realize that Kimberly is screaming for her.

 

-

 

Kimberly stands with her arms curled around herself and tears in her eyes; Trini almost died. Right in front of her. Every time she closes her eyes, she hears the choking and she can see the bloody flowers that poured from Trini’s mouth. She just doesn’t quite  _understand_ and no one will tell her what the hell is going on, all she knows is that Alpha is with Trini and she is stuck pacing through the pit.

 

“Zordon,” Jason calls. “Is she okay?”

 

“That’s an answer I can’t provide you with right now, Jason.” Zordon booms. “All I can say is that Alpha is taking care of her and she’s stable.”

 

Billy looks to their leader with wide eyes and pain on his face, “Jason, why was she throwing up flowers?”

 

“I don’t know, Billy.” Jason sighs as he paces through the room. “Zordon, what was happening to her?”

 

“She was being a stubborn fucktard.”

 

The voice brings their gazes to where Zack is sitting against the wall with his knees pulled up and his elbows balanced on them. His words cause a small uproar as they begin to scold him for his insult, but he simply leaps to his feet and turns to throw furious punches against the wall. The pain is evident in every punch he throws, and it causes Kimberly to cringe. Jason is the first to step to him as he glides in between the wall and Zack’s fist and catches his next hit.

 

“Talk to us.” Jason orders. “What do you know, Zack?”

 

Zack pants and pulls his bloody hand from Jason’s grip, “She has some stupid thing called the Hanahaki Disease…”

 

“I’ve never heard of that. Jason, why haven’t I heard of that?” Billy demands as he looks to Jason before he shakes his head and turns his attention to Zack. “What is that? What does it mean?”

 

“It _means_ she has been fucking throwing up flowers for two weeks.”

 

Kimberly gaps in shock, “How do you know?”

 

“Because she came to me covered in blood and throwing up petals!” Zack growls as he turns to face her with anger in his gaze. “I wanted her to get help, but she refused. She didn’t want to be a _bother_.”

 

“She could have died, Zack!” Kimberly yells, and her voice cracks halfway through as she glares at him. “How could you keep something like this from us?”

 

“Because it wasn’t for me to tell!”

 

“I don’t understand.” Jason frowns as he looks between Zack and Kimberly. “What is this from? What’s causing this?”

 

“Love. Love is causing this.” Zack hisses as he cups his aching fist and looks away from his friends. “The Hanahaki Disease is brought on by unrequited love.”

 

“Who is it?” Kimberly whispers as her gaze darkens. “Who does she love? I will find them and drag them here by their…”

 

“You.” Zack cuts in, and his voice goes barely above a whisper. “It’s _you_ , Kim.”

 

Kimberly jerks back and furrows her brow in confusion, “D-Did...How do you know that? Did she tell you?”

 

“She didn’t, at first. Not that she really had to say anything.” Zack scoffs as a humorless laugh leaves him. “The way she _looks_ at you says it all, Kim. You are the person she is in love with and it’s literally killing her.”

 

“That’s not fair, Zack.” Jason scolds.

 

“No, you know what’s not fair?” Zack sneers. “What isn’t fair is that Trini is so _afraid_ of what she feels that she is allowing herself to die over it. She is so lost and no one can even _see_ it.”

 

“We see it, Zack,” Billy assures him in a soft voice. “Or at least I do. She gets the same look I do whenever she walks through the hallway, she’s scared but she’s Trini. She doesn’t need us, she says she can take care of herself.”

 

“She’s the size of my pinky.” Zack protests as he clenches his hands into fists. “Has she showed you guys the pictures of her locker? No? Lucky you. They get defaced at least twice a month, the principal has had her move lockers four times.”

 

Jason furrows his brow, “Why didn’t she tell us this?”

 

“Because she’s Trini and she thinks that being fine means having anxiety all the goddamn time.” Zack grumbles as he runs a hand through his dark locks. “She is not as strong as she makes herself out to be, and I wish you’d all see that.”

 

“Trini is resting comfortably, Rangers.”

 

Alpha appears and the boys bombard him with questions while Billy begs for information on her charts and medical history. Kimberly is silent as she slips away from the group, she looks up and considers bursting through the water so she can escape this but she thinks better of it and takes off to the one person who needs her; the same person who she has neglected for far too long, and Kimberly is determined to fix that.

 

-

 

Trini wakes up in a room that she knows is reserved for injury consults in the back of the ship. Her chest aches as she sits up only to flop back down as a gentle hand presses to her collarbone and leads her back down. Trini struggles to suck in a breath as she looks up to see Kimberly watching her with swollen red eyes, the fear and wonder clear in her dark gaze. An ache swells in the back of her throat and Kimberly must sense it coming because she has a bucket beneath Trini’s chin before the first batch of flowers fall.

 

“It’s okay. You’re going to be okay, Trini. I promise.” Kimberly whispers as she smooths a hand over Trini’s mused dark locks. “I’ve got you.”

 

Trini wants to offer something sarcastic, she wants to push Kimberly away and tell her to go but she instead grips the sheets of the bed until she hears a rip. The pain brings a sob from her and she tugs harder at the sheets while Kimberly continues to brush her fingers through her hair. As soon as her throat stops burning, Trini pushes the bucket away and drags a hand over her mouth as she tries to avoid the look of devastation on Kimberly’s face.

 

“Blue salvia.” Kimberly sighs as she takes a look into the bucket and her face crumbles with pain. “Did you know that they mean ‘I think of you’?”

 

Trini wipes at her mouth, “I didn’t.”

 

“Earlier, in the pit, you were...it was willows. Willows mean sadness.” Kimberly chokes out, and Trini finally looks at her to watch as tears spill. “I did this to you, Trini. I-I’m the reason this is happening.”

 

Trini purses her lips, “Zack told you?”

 

“ _You_ should have told me!” Kimberly exclaims, and her voice bounces off the walls and collides hard with Trini’s breaking heart. “You shouldn’t have kept this from us, we could’ve helped you.”

 

“Look, princess,” Trini sneers as she struggles to sit up. “No one can help me with this, it’s just something I have to live with…”

 

“You mean something that could actually _kill_ you?” Kimberly demands as tears well in her eyes. “Trini, I was so scared. You...You were _choking_. And there was so much blood. God, Trini! You should’ve just told me.”

 

Trini coughs and gives a hard swallow, “I wasn’t really ready to admit how I felt, princess.”

 

“You could’ve died.” Kimberly snaps.

 

“But I didn’t.”

 

“That’s it?” Kimberly scoffs as she throws her arms up. “ _That_ is your supposed way to comfort me? You didn’t _this_ time, Trini. But what about next time? Or the time after that? What if we aren’t there to help you?”

 

“What do you want from me, Kim?”

 

“I want you to say it.” Kimberly hisses, and Trini goes still as she looks at her with a wide eyed puzzled gaze. “I want you to tell me how you feel.”

 

Trini scoffs at the order, “Fine. You really want me to say it? I love you. I am _in_ love with you. I would rather puke up entire rose bush than erase you from my memories, and I have no regrets for it. I, Trinity fucking Gomez, _love_ you.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

Everything in the room goes quiet and Trini doesn’t know why for a second she was relieved. She doesn’t know why for a second she actually _believed_ Kimberly. As soon as the words settle, Trini releases a wet cough and clutches desperately at her chest; nothing comes up, and the air inside of her seems to be stuck. She can hear Kimberly calling her name, but Trini is too busy jamming a hand down her throat in search of whatever is blocking her airway. Finally, she manages to grab onto a stem and she chokes and gags as she slowly pulls the yellow carnation free.

 

Trini pants and spits out blood as she holds the flower up into Kimberly’s horrified line of sight, “And this? What does _this_ mean?”

 

“I-I don’t know…”

 

“Rejection, Kim.” Trini whispers as she closes the flower in her fist. “It means rejection.”

 

-

 

Trini avoids them. She ducks out of training sessions and stops going to Saturday detentions; she locks herself in her room and Googles flower meanings. She hates that she’s hurting her friends, but she can’t deal with it yet, she isn’t ready to explain all of this. So, she ignores Billy’s puppy dog expression when he passes her in the hallway, she tells her mom to send Jason away every time he appears at the door, and she turns off her phone once Zack’s thread of texts start to give her a headache; she just shuts the door on that part of her life and hides the key.

 

Kimberly doesn’t stop trying though, she seems to pop up wherever Trini is. She doesn’t try to approach or offer her any words, but she watches with a look Trini can only describe as protective. Kimberly trails her and Trini just let’s her, she figures it’s easier than telling her to go away. Trini becomes a ghost again, she allows herself to fade into the background and tries to keep herself out of the spotlight that has been burning bright on her since the moment she became friends with Kimberly and Jason.

 

On a Wednesday, after yet another missed training session and an awkward family dinner, Trini patters from the bathroom with messy hair and a toothbrush tucked in her mouth. Today’s flower had been the lovely marigold, and she found that flowers weren’t nearly as beautiful floating in a toilet bowl. With a sigh, Trini grabs her phone off her bedside table and uses one hand to check her texts while the other brushes away the lingering taste of soil. As soon as she finishes brushing her teeth, Trini stretches out her exhausted limbs and walks towards her bed only to stop short as she sees her bedroom window slowly open.

 

The fear ripples through her as Trini immediately goes into a defensive stance and waits for whatever it is to come destroy her bedroom again. Finally, she sees fingers wrap around the windowsill and she relaxes her stance and her thudding heartbeat as she sees the familiar pink nail polish. With a huff, Trini crosses the room to throw her window open and Kimberly stares up at her with wide, guilt filled eyes.

 

“What the _fuck,_ Kim?”

 

“Uh...I’m here to violate the school’s prom king, but I guess the school’s basket case will be fine.”

 

Trini rolls her eyes and fights a smile, “Ha. Cute. Why the hell are you scaling my house like you’re some kind of creepy football player? I do have a front door that has a doorknob and everything.”

 

“Like you would’ve let me in.” Kimberly scoffs as she hauls herself through the open window and lands gracefully a few inches away from Trini. “It’s been awhile since I did that. I think Jason’s window was easier to get to.”

 

“Do you often climb through Jason’s window, princess?” Trini snaps as she folds her arms over her chest.

 

“Only once. Never again. It smelt like moldy bread in there.” Kimberly mumbles as she fixes her jacket and looks up at Trini with soft eyes. “For you though, Rapunzel, I’d climb all the towers in the kingdom.”

 

Trini narrows her eyes at the lilt to Kimberly’s voice, “Uh huh. What exactly are you doing here?”

 

Kimberly playfully pouts and tilts her head sadly, “I came to see you, you’ve been ignoring me and I’ve lost two pounds because we haven’t had a donut date in a week.”

 

“Kim, now really isn’t a good time…”

 

“Why are you trying to push us away? It’s not going to work.” Kimberly snaps, and Trini winces as the teasing tone to her voice leaves. “We’re your friends, Trini. We just want to help you.”

 

“I don’t need your help.” Trini hisses.

 

Kimberly sneers in frustration and brushes a hand through her wind swept hair, “Why are you being so stubborn about this? You could die!”

 

“Can you keep it down? My little brothers are sleeping down the hall and if you wake them up then me dying is going to be the least of your worries.” Trini growls as she narrows her eyes. “Now, answer my question, why are you _here_?”

 

“I already told you, I came to see you. I miss you.” Kimberly murmurs, and Trini hesitates at the blush on pale cheeks. “I uh I also wanted to ask you something…”

 

“Kimberly, ask me tomorrow.” Trini pleads.

 

“I’ve been trying to ask you for a week, and I keep chickening out.” Kimberly confesses with a slight cringe as she turns her face away from Trini. “Actually, I’ve been trying to ask you for _months_.”

 

Trini flexes her jaw, “Well, what is it?”

 

“I…” Kimberly trails off and sucks in a calming breath before she glides towards Trini and takes her hand. “I want to take you on a date, and not just a random donut date but like a _date_ date where I pick you up and we…”

 

Trini sobers and tenses, “Get out.”

 

“W-What?”

 

“Do you think I’m stupid?” Trini scoffs as she jerks her hand away from Kimberly’s grasp. “Why would I agree to _date_ you? I don’t need your pity, Kimberly. I don’t _want_ it. I’m doing just fine.”

 

“I didn’t come here to _pity_ you…”

 

“Do you expect me to just fall into your arms because of what’s happening? Do you think I’m that desperate?” Trini whispers as tears build in her eyes and her lower lip quivers. “You don’t know how many times I’ve pictured this moment, but it never happened like this.”

 

Kimberly shakes her head, “Trini.”

 

“Get out, Kim.” Trini pleads, and the desperation is clear in her voice. “Please just leave me alone. Leave me alone until all these stupid flowers die and we can go on with our lives.”

 

As soon as the words are out of her mouth, a small trail of blood leaks down her chin with a petal attached. A sob catches on the flower in her throat and Trini hurries into the bathroom, she slams the door behind herself and collapses in front of the toilet in an effort to empty out the conversation that had taken place. As soon as she is done, her body goes limp and she drops onto her side and coughs out one last flower before the tears fight their way free.

 

As Trini lays there in a pool of tears, flowers, and blood, she closes her eyes and thinks that maybe having her memories erased would be better. At least she’d be free. At least Kimberly wouldn’t be there in her every thought. Trini drifts into a restless sleep a few minutes later; her dream is a constant loop of Kimberly handing her a bouquet of red roses and laughing as they slowly melt into a puddle of blood.

 

-

 

“It’s been _five_ days, Jace.”

 

Jason sighs and watches Kimberly pace through the room, “At least she’s back training. That’s a good sign, right? She’s finally up to sparring.”

 

“Of course it’s a good thing, but she won’t even speak to me.” Kimberly complains as she folds her arms over her chest. “How are we supposed to morph if we’re suddenly disconnected?”

 

“Why is she ignoring you?” Jason asks as he slips an arm under his head.

 

Kimberly pauses and glances nervously down at her nails, “I may or may not have asked her on a date…”

 

“ _What_? You asked her out?” Jason scoffs as he quickly sits up and looks at her with wide, surprised blue eyes. “I thought...do you have a thing for Trini?”

 

“I’ve always had a _thing_ for Trini. I’ve actually liked her for longer than you’d think, I noticed her about a month before we became rangers.” Kimberly admits as she gives a bittersweet smile. “It was in the hallway...she was cleaning her locker and Rebecca stopped to say something to her and Trini just hit back with this sarcastic comment and I laughed.”

 

“But you said that…”

 

“I know. It was stupid to act like I didn’t remember her. To be fair though, I really didn’t know her name.” Kimberly sighs. “I thought it was just one of those flukes, y’know? Just another one of my stupid thoughts, an idea I made up while trying to pretend Ty was more than some neanderthal with good hair.”

 

“He does have good hair.” Jason notes, and Kimberly rolls her eyes with a small laugh. “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me, Kim. I mean, it’s _me_. It’s not like I would’ve judged you or told you that it was weird. I always support you.”

 

“I know, but we’re a _team._ We need to have a natural chemistry, and dating somebody in the group could easily disrupt that. I thought it’d go away.” Kimberly whispers as she chokes on the lump in her throat. “And now I could lose her, and she doesn’t even believe me when I say I want to save her.”

 

Jason stands from his bed and moves to wrap his arms around Kimberly, “We won’t let anything happen to her, Billy has been up night and day working on _something_. We’re going to fix this and then you can win her over, alright?”

 

“I don’t know how.” Kimberly scoffs as she curls into Jason’s embrace. “She deserves so much more than me anyway. I’m Kimberly Hart, the school traitor. I betrayed a friend I’ve had since I was in preschool just to make sure my boyfriend wasn’t interested in her.”

 

“Kim, we’ve talked about that,” Jason sighs as he slowly pulls away. “Haven’t you ever heard that one quote? Y’know, sometimes good people make bad choices, it doesn’t make them a bad person, it makes them human.”

 

“What I did wasn’t bad, Jace. It was _evil_.”

 

“Does Trini know?” Jason asks.

 

Kimberly sniffles and nods, “Yeah. I told her a long time ago.”

 

“What did she say?”

 

“Why does it matter?” Kimberly snaps, and the frustration bubbles in her as Jason arches an eyebrow. “She told me it was a messed up thing to do, but people make mistakes and I needed to learn to just live with it and move on.”

 

“Then do that.” Jason orders as he locks their gazes. “Trini doesn’t care about your past, and you shouldn’t let it control you. You’re Kimberly Hart. You’re a good person, you’re one of my best friends. So, stop moping around and get the girl.”

 

Kimberly swallows hard and nods, “You're right, I’m Kimberly Hart.”

 

“Who are you?” Jason demands as he clutches her shoulders in his hands and gives her a playfully stern glare.

 

“I’m Kimberly Ann Hart and I go after what I want.” Kimberly declares. “And I want to go on a date with Trini.”

 

Jason shakes her slightly, “So, what is Kimberly Ann Hart gonna do?”

 

“She’s going to plan a date for Trini.”

 

“That’ah girl.”

 

Kimberly laughs softly as she folds back into Jason’s arms, she is way too lucky to have him in her life. With a determined expression, Kimberly allows her fears and self pity to melt away as she silently commits herself to going through with her plan. Now, all she needs to do is reach out to the one person that Trini hasn’t completely shut out: Zack.

 

-

 

“You look...better.”

 

Trini frowns and looks up at Zack, “Oh, that was _so_ sincere.”

 

“I’m just trying to make conversation! You’re so...quiet.” Zack pouts as he hurries alongside Trini. “I know I told you to come out here and meet me, but I expected you to actually carry on a conversation.”

 

“I’m sorry.” Trini sighs as she clears her throat and rubs at her chest. “I spent a majority of last night throwing up willows, and I’m exhausted.”

 

Zack winces and shakes his head, “I wish we could just _fix_ this. It kills me seeing someone else I love hurting like this. First my mom, now you...I don’t think I can handle losing you, crazy girl.”

 

“I’m not going anywhere.” Trini whispers.

 

“I really hope that’s true.” Zack mutters as swings an arm around Trini’s shoulder before he draws her close with an anxious frown. “And I hope you don’t hate me for what I’m about to do.”

 

“What do you…?” Trini trails off as she looks to where Zack has dragged her. “Are you going to throw me into that lake? Zack, I swear I will _kill_ you.”

 

“No. That’s...no.” Zack sighs before he releases Trini. “Just remember that I’m totally only doing this because I’m your wingman and I want you to be happy...and not die.”

 

“Zack, I…”

 

Zack releases her and backs away, “Go on, crazy girl. Your adventure is right around that corner.”

 

With a wink, Zack laughs under his breath before he turns to disappear. Trini feels the nerves eating her as she watches him climb up a rock wall before he flings himself over the side and leaves her on her own. A cough rips from deep within her, and Trini wipes a hand over her mouth and looks at the willow before she flicks it aside and wonders forward. Her brow furrows as she pushes herself under a tree branch, and then the dread settles in her stomach as she sees why Zack left her.

 

“Hi.”

 

A few feet away, Kimberly stands with her hands folded in front of herself and a half smile on her face. Trini sweeps her gaze around and takes in the picnic Kimberly has set up along with the handful of tea candles that are spread through the area. Her hands slowly curl into fists and the pain in her chest intensifies until she is choking on the lump that grows in her throat. Eventually, her knees quiver and she pitches forward to spill a few willows along the grass, and her hand shoots up to stop Kimberly as she takes a step forward with worry in her eyes.

 

“Trini…”

 

“What am I doing here, Kim?” Trini demands in a raspy whisper as she pulls her jacket over her hand and wipes it over her mouth. “What is this?”

 

“It’s our date.” Kimberly replies, and she quickly holds up a finger as Trini opens her mouth to protest. “Trini, this isn’t a game to me. I’m not doing this because I feel bad, I’m doing this because I _like_ you.”

 

“So, you’ve suddenly decided to show me how much now that I’m dying?” Trini snaps as she folds her arms over her chest. “I already told you that I don’t want this. I don’t want to date you.”

 

Kimberly stares at her with wide, sad eyes and Trini almost regrets being as cold as she is but she just _can’t_ do this. She doesn’t think she could live through it if Kimberly broke her heart, she was already camped out on death’s door step. With a shake of her head, Trini stuffs her hands into her pockets and turns to walk away; she has every intention to find Zack and force him into the pit so she can take her aggression out on him.

 

“I wrote you a song!”

 

Trini skids to a stop at the confession and she squeezes her eyes shut, “And why would you do something like _that_?”

 

“Because I can.”

 

“Oh?” Trini scoffs as she spins to face Kimberly, and she forces the frown onto her face when she sees Kimberly’s determined expression. “And what is this song about exactly?”

 

“Well, if you _stay_ then I’ll sing it for you. But if you go? Yeah, then I’ll burn the music sheets and that will be that.” Kimberly declares as she matches Trini’s glare with one of her own. “Just give me a chance.”

 

“You really want a chance?” Trini sneers as she walks closer to Kimberly. “You really want to be with me? You want to date the loser dyke? You want to deal with all the homophobic bullshit? I mean, you do realize my life is on the line, right?”

 

“I know.” Kimberly whispers, and Trini furrows her brow at the sadness that creeps into her tone. “I know that. And I can’t...no, I _won’t_ let you slip away. I know I should have said something sooner, but I was scared. I-I didn’t know how to handle how I felt so I ignored it.”

 

“I don’t understand…”

 

Kimberly groans and nods her head towards the blanket, “Just come here. Let me play you this song.”

 

Trini is hesitant as she watches Kimberly lower herself to the ground before she flips her laptop open and fiddles with something for a moment. By the time Trini reaches Kimberly, the older girl is staring at her with fear in her gaze as she keeps a close eye on how slow Trini is. As soon as she settles, Kimberly glances down at her computer screen and keeps her focus on it as she nervously chews at her lower lip.

 

“I wrote this about a week after we took out Rita,” Kimberly admits. “I had Billy help me set up a program so I could work on my music, and I-I was going to play it for you once I finally got my shit together. I wanted you to have the best version of me.”

 

“Play the song.” Trini orders.

 

“Hope you don’t mind that I’m going to sing it.” Kimberly sighs as she begins to type before she looks to Trini. “I’m a little rusty, haven’t really written anything like this since I was like fifteen.”

 

“Play the song.” Trini repeats, and Kimberly finally nods and presses play.

 

The music is soft, and so _Kimberly_ like that it makes Trini tense. The forest around them fills with the melody and Kimberly stares at her with a soft expression, and Trini has to look away. She can’t handle looking at Kimberly when she has flowers growing in her lungs, when she is literally dying from a love that she was so sure would be washed away.

 

Kimberly looks to her slowly, “I'm starin’ at you, you’re starin’ at me, there’s so many things I’d like to say to you. But where’s my courage gone, where’s it gone? Did I leave it with my thoughts at home?”

 

Trini stutters on a gasp at the beautiful tone of Kimberly’s voice. Just like the melody, just like Kimberly, her voice is gentle. The lyrics take a moment to settle and Trini wants to run away. She isn’t so sure she’s ready to hear the rest of this song, she’s terrified of what it means. How could someone really and truly like her? Especially someone who was so kind and beautiful? Why would Kimberly want to waste a second writing a song for somebody like Trini?

 

“And I know it’s stupid, but I can’t play cupid. I’ll just wait another day. Next time I’ll do better, promise I’ll do better,” Kimberly sings as she tilts her head. “I say it every time. And I can’t find the words to say so I’ll say nothing, say nothing at all. And it’s hard when you’re there and I try but I still just say nothing, say nothing at all.”

 

Kimberly looks so deep into her eyes and Trini is terrified that she can somehow see past the layers of clothing, the layers of skin, and straight to where branches and a garden grows. She can sense the pain that radiates off Kimberly and it makes her wonder, it makes her pause and consider the idea that this isn’t nearly as one-sided as she thought. But there will always remain that part of her that is afraid, she’s afraid to have her heart broken; it’s been shattered so many times, and it’s always by the people she adores.

 

The first time was her abuela, when she was nine, and the woman had slipped away with a chunk of Trini’s heart in the span of a week. And after that, her mother changed and became colder, and she took another piece of Trini’s heart. Her father takes a sliver every time he gives her that _look_ , the same one he gives her whenever he notices her eyes linger on a woman. She only has some many pieces of her heart left, and she is scared beyond belief to offer any of them to Kimberly.

 

“Scared I got it wrong, scared it’s not true, scared that you don’t feel the same way as I do…”

 

Trini furrows her brow at the words and looks at Kimberly with shock clear on her face. Here she was pining after a girl who was pining after _her_. The idea draws a daisy from the back of her throat, and Trini ignores Kimberly’s worried eyes as she reaches to pull it from her mouth before she easily wipes it aside. Hope. Those stupid daisies keep popping up and Trini is tired of it; she already knows what hope does, it just bleeds eternal misery.

 

“If it wasn’t for my pride, I’d probably jump right into you. Swim deep in your ocean. And I know it’s stupid, but I can’t play cupid. I wait another day. Next time I’ll do better. Promise I got to do better. I say it and I mean it this time…”

 

“Stop.”

 

Kimberly fumbles to stop the track as she looks at Trini, “I’m...was there something wrong with it? I know my voice must sound like shit, but I’m nervous. You make  _nervous._ ”

 

“One chance.” Trini whispers, and her eyes dart up to watch as Kimberly blinks in complete shock. “You get _one_ chance, okay?”

 

“Okay.” Kimberly nods.

 

Trini bites at her lower lip and looks away for a moment, “I just have two conditions for you…”

 

“Name them.” Kimberly breathes out.

 

“Number one, please don’t break my heart. If you ever feel like this isn’t what you want, don’t force yourself to stay.” Trini pleads as she plays with the sleeves of her jacket. “If I don’t make you happy, if _this_ doesn’t make you happy, then don’t stay.”

 

“I promise, Trini.” Kimberly assures her as she looks at the girl with a soft smile. “And what is condition two?”

 

Trini gives her a lopsided grin, “Never stop singing to me.”

 

“Only on one condition,” Kimberly hums, and Trini simply arches an eyebrow. “Let me hold you.”

 

Trini goes rigid at the request and she thinks about turning her down, shutting her down with a hard no, but her body has other ideas as she crawls across the blanket. Kimberly releases a soft sigh as she opens her arms and Trini collapses in her lap and tucks herself under her chin; Trini thinks she could happily die right here, with lungs full of flowers and her body molded to Kimberly’s strong form. Her eyes flutter shut as arms curl around her in a protective cradle, before she feels Kimberly shift to start up her song.

  
“And I can’t find the words to say so I’ll say nothing…”


	2. la douleur exquise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: If vomiting and/or blood makes you squeamish do not read on. There's nothing too graphic, but I don't want anyone feeling uncomfortable.

Nothing really changes between them.

 

Well, not at first. Kimberly is hesitant, she doesn’t want to hurt Trini. So, she keeps a small distance between them but not enough to raise any suspicions. But then one day, Trini reaches for her hand in the hallway and Kimberly throws any of her fears aside and intertwines their fingers. They don’t bother to hide it from anyone at school, but they don’t go out of their way to announce it either. The only ones that matter is the boys, and she can tell that they pretty much already know; well, everyone but Billy knows. And so they wait till training is done and nonchalantly announce their dating.

 

Jason congratulates them and starts off onto a rant about the team, but Trini just gives him a shove to silence him. Billy is giddy as he looks at them and spits out questions that they struggle to keep up with; with anyone else, Trini would’ve punched them in the mouth but this is _Billy_ and Kimberly knows they’d both do anything for him. Zack doesn’t say much. He waits until Trini is distracted by Billy, and then he sidles up to Kimberly and thrusts his hands deep his sweatpants pockets.

 

“How is she?” Zack murmurs.

 

“The flowers haven’t stopped, but it hasn’t gotten any worse.” Kimberly whispers as she looks up at him and follows his gaze to Trini. “So, are you going to give me the big brother speech? Threaten to break me in half if I make her cry?”

 

“Like Trini would let me break you in half. She’d rip my heart out.” Zack snorts with a dramatic roll of his eyes. “No, there’s no speech. I already know that you wouldn’t hurt her, I can see the way you look at her. You’re really into her, huh?”

 

“I am.” Kimberly nods.

 

“Just keep an eye on her, alright? She’s going to pretend she isn’t sick anymore, but don’t believe her.” Zack orders as he shakes his head. “Crazy girl is sincerely insane so she’ll convince you and herself that she’s fine.”

 

Kimberly smiles up at him, “Don’t worry, Zack. I’ll take care of her.”

 

“I know you will.” Zack shrugs as he tosses his arms around her shoulders and leads her towards their friends. “Just remember that I’m gonna steal her sometimes cause I still need my wingman…”

 

Kimberly looks up at him and easily pushes his arm off, “Not happening. Consider those days over.”

 

“But…”

 

“Sorry, Zack,” Kimberly smirks as she slides up behind Trini and curls her arms around her waist, and Trini slowly settles back in the hold. “She’s taken.”

 

Zack smiles to himself, “So I see.”

 

-

 

Dates become a regular thing between them, and Kimberly is always surprised how they never manage to run out of ideas. They go rollerbladding a few times, they window shop and people watch at the mall, they pick the movies with the worst reviews and share popcorn and soda as they giggle at the bad acting, they skip rocks at the rundown harbor area and Trini tackles Kimberly in the water and smothers her cries of protest with laughter. Sometimes though, their dates consist of Kimberly sitting with her back to the bathroom door with Trini on the other side. But she waits, she’ll always wait for Trini.

 

Kimberly finds that when she holds Trini’s hands she swells with pride; it makes her ego glow when people pass glances to Trini only to notice Kimberly’s hand and look away. It feels better than she thought it would, finally being able to call Trini hers. Her past relationships were never like this, they were always just pawns in her rise to popularity. None of them were real. None of them were like Trini. None of them were late nights at a half built Krispy Kreme or early morning yoga on the top of a rock in the mines.

 

None of them felt this _right_.

 

-

 

Trini shakes her head as she hears twin giggles, and she peeks over her shoulder to watch her little brothers’ trade punches. Being with them always made things seem a little better, it made the pain in her chest lessen. She knows that no matter what she does, these two will always love her unconditionally and without question. The adoration she feels slowly disappears as the boys latch onto her hands and begin to giggle as they tug at her.

 

“Tree, did you see that super cool store? The one with all the shoes?” Mateo gushes as he skips alongside her. “Can you guess which one was my favorite?”

 

“No. I can’t. Do tell.” Trini smirks as she spares the boy a glance.

 

“The blue ones! Like the Blue Ranger! He’s _so_ cool!” Mateo squeaks as he yanks at her arm while Alec does the same on the opposite side. “Do you wanna know what Alec’s favorite pair was?”

 

“Are you gonna tell me even if I don’t want to know?”

 

“The yellow ones!” Mateo exclaims.

 

“Cool.” Trini nods before she begins to shake her arms. “Can you two let me go before you rip my arms out of the sockets? I need them.”

 

As soon as her arms are free, the boys are gone like a shot. Trini struggles to keep up with them as they weave easily through the busy Angel Grove mall, and her teeth grind together as she hears the insults people throw their way. After chasing them for a few minutes, Trini blows out a strong breath as she latches onto the lapels of their jackets and yanks them to a stop; she can barely breathe as she looks down at them with irritation in her gaze. It’s only when she hears a familiar giggle that she looks up and blushes at the sight of Kimberly.

 

“Having fun?” Kimberly smirks.

 

Trini rolls her eyes, “Barrels of it. And what is the princess doing here on a Saturday morning? Shopping for more pink to fill your closet?”

 

“Sarcasm is mean.” Mateo scolds as he turns to poke Trini in the stomach, and he only arches an eyebrow as his sister looks down at him. “Say sorry.”

 

“Yeah.” Alec chirps. “Say it.”

 

“What? I’m not…” Trini trails off as she sees the seriousness that shines through her brothers’ expressions. “Alright, alright. You’re so pushy. I’m sorry, princesa. I didn’t mean to be sarcastic.”

 

“It’s fine, Trini.” Kimberly laughs with a wave of her hand. “Mateo, Alec. Have you two been drinking your milk? I think you’ve grown a few inches.”

 

Mateo immediately puffs out his chest, “We have! We’ve been eatin’ all our veggies cause we don’t wanna be tiny like Tree. Mami says Tree never ate nothin’ green so that’s why she’s so little.”

 

“I believe it.” Kimberly hums as she wiggles her brows at the twins. “So, what are you three doing here?”

 

“Tree says we’re wasting time till lunch cause we’re havin’ donuts.” Alec chirps as he bounces excitedly. “Tree, can Kimmy come have donuts with us? Can she? Pretty please?”

 

“Yeah, can she?” Mateo pouts.

 

Trini sighs as she looks between them; it doesn’t surprise her how much the twins like Kimberly, it’s almost impossible to _not_ love her. A smile works itself across her face as she watches Mateo and Alec turn in her grasp to clap their hands together and push out their lower lips. One glance at Kimberly, and Trini already knows exactly what her answer is. Finally, she nods and both boys squeal in excitement as they launch themselves at Kimberly.

 

“Kimmy, we each get _two_ donuts!”

 

Immediately, Alec and Mateo overwhelm her with words as they yank at her jacket and continue to attempt to overpower each other with their voices. With a roll of her eyes, Trini steps forward and tugs at the hoods of their matching red jackets and the two turn to look at her with wide eyes before they fight their way free and run away from the pair towards a sports store a few feet away. As soon as their alone, Trini feels that familiar tickle and she clears her throat while Kimberly stares at her with a fond expression.

 

“Shall we? Something tells me the two of them are already trying on jerseys, and I really want to see that.” Kimberly grins, and she is quick to offer her hand to Trini. “I hope you don’t mind me crashing your day out with them.”

 

“I don’t mind it at all.” Trini shrugs as she drops her hand to thread her fingers through Kimberly’s before the pair saunter off to follow the twins.

 

Trini is surprised when the flower that lingers in the back of her throat goes down easy when she swallows hard.

 

-

 

“Have I mentioned how much I hate writing essays?” Kimberly mumbles as she glares at her laptop screen. “Because if I haven’t then I will now, I _hate_ writing essays. They’re never ending.”

 

“Would you rather be solving math problems? I’ll happily swap you.” Trini sighs as she rolls over to look at Kimberly. “I don’t think I can take much more.”

 

Kimberly sighs heavily, “Agreed.”

 

After a few erased sentences, Kimberly gives up. She saves her work and slams her computer shut before she slinks off to where Trini is spread across her bed. With a sigh, Kimberly plops down on the bed and frowns at the lump beneath her body; it takes her a moment of digging before she finally pulls a worn teddy bear out from beneath her and she stares at the beaten fur and the missing eye before her nose curls in slight disgust.

 

“Ew.” Kimberly mumbles as she goes to throw the bear.

 

“Hey! Be careful with him!” Trini exclaims as she reaches to snatch the bear from Kimberly’s grasp. “I know you seriously weren’t about to chunk Sr. Hankey across the room. That would just be a cruel thing to do, right?”

 

“Um. Right.” Kimberly nods. “So, where did this uh...Sr. Hankey come from?”

 

“My abuela.” Trini whispers as she moves to place the teddy bear on the computer chair Kimberly had abandoned. “She made him for me when I was two. I used to take him with me everywhere I went, my mom used to sew outfits for him to match mine. He even had his own bed.”

 

Kimberly smiles softly, “That’s so cute.”

 

“He was my best friend. I used to tell him all my secrets, and whenever I’m in pain he’s the only thing that makes me feel just a little bit better.” Trini admits. “He’s kinda a secret though, alright?”

 

“Little pebbles.” Kimberly sighs, and a soft laugh leaves her at Trini’s confusion. “You give me little pebbles about your life, and it’s so sweet. I know you’re not quite ready to open yourself up so I hope you know that I’ll wait and take what I can get.”

 

“Little pebbles?” Trini repeats. “I like that.”

 

Kimberly watches Trini for a moment and wonders when she got to this place; she wonders when life stopped knocking her down and instead handed her things to keep safe. With a sigh, she swings her legs over the side of the bed and Trini looks at her with a shy smile as she closes the distance between them and lingers just a breath away; Kimberly wants to reach for her, but she instead tilts her head back and grins adoringly.

 

“I can be that for you, y’know? Something that makes you feel better when you’re sad and stuff.” Kimberly offers with a lopsided smile. “I know we’re just testing the waters and everything, but I want to be that person for you.”

 

Trini smiles softly as she scoots in between Kimberly’s thighs before she cups her face and tilts her head up; for a moment, Kimberly simply stares. She takes in the beauty that is Trini and stores it in the back of her mind. Finally, she guides Trini down and presses their lips together in a soft kiss. And then every cliche explodes within her; she’s thankful that she is sitting cause her knees go weak, her brain explodes with fireworks, and her blood sings as she curls her hands around the back of Trini’s thighs and pulls her closer.

 

The second Trini is in her lap, Kimberly twists her fingers in dark locks while hands settle softly on her shoulders. Trini draws away to pull in a breath, and Kimberly keeps her eyes closed until lips meet hers once more. This time, her tongue slips along the seam of a smile and the taste of Trini takes over. Slowly, she weakens the kiss until they’re sharing lazy, gentle kisses before hazy gazes meet. Kimberly swallows hard as she pulls back and looks at Trini who cups her face again and drags a thumb over her lower lip.

 

“You good?” Trini smirks.

 

Kimberly shakes her head and playfully bites at Trini’s thumb, “Why the hell did I wait so long for that?”

 

“I’d like to think you’re _done_ waiting.” Trini hums, and she can feel the signs of the growing flower in her throat. “And I am about to vomit so I’m gonna have to cut this moment short…”

 

“Do you need me?” Kimberly whispers.

 

“From where I’m sitting,” Trini grins as she ducks her head to press a lingering kiss to Kimberly’s lips. “I already have you.”

 

Trini gets a familiar look on her face and she swings herself off Kimberly’s lap before she disappears into the bathroom. Kimberly wants to go after her, but she hears the lock click and she figures Trini isn’t ready (and very well never will be) for Kimberly to see her like that. With a shake of her head, Kimberly collapses back on the bed and thinks back to Trini’s statement.

 

“You do.” Kimberly sighs into the empty bedroom. “You really do.”

 

-

 

Kimberly has every intention to tell her parents about Trini, and it’s not like she’s _really_ hiding her; Edwin and Madeline Hart have both had the pleasure of meeting Trini and they both love her. But telling them about their relationship? Kimberly isn’t so sure she is ready, it’s a big leap. So, she assures Trini over and over and _over_ that she will tell them, and the days pass and still nothing comes out. Yet Trini is patient, kind, and she tells Kimberly she understands; Kimberly still doesn’t know what she did to deserve such an amazing person in her life.

 

“Shit. Where’s my stupid phone?” Kimberly grumbles as she digs through the purse on her shoulder. “Dad! Have you seen my phone? I’ve gotta go, I’m meeting my friends for lunch.”

 

Edwin wonders out of the kitchen with a half peeled orange in his hand, “What have I told you about leaving it around? Last time I saw it, it was on the patio so I’m going to guess your mom put it on your charger.”

 

“She’s the best.” Kimberly sighs.

 

“Why do you think I married her?” Edwin teases as he gives his daughter a wink. “Do you need any money for lunch?”

 

“I’m good. I already pickpocketed mom this morning.” Kimberly assures him, and she barely dodges the orange peel her father throws as she takes off up the stairs. “Mom is gonna kill you if she sees that.”

 

“Then don’t tell her!”

 

Kimberly hums under her breath as she bounces up the stairs and mentally prepares the text she’s gonna have to send out in the group text; Zack is gonna be tickled over the fact that he’s not the one late which means he doesn’t have to pay for dessert. A smile crosses her face at the thought before she turns into her bedroom and stops short at the sight of her mother standing with her phone in her hand and a look of slight surprise.

 

“Mom?” Kimberly frowns.

 

“I-I came to put your phone on the charger, but you started getting texts,” Madeline begins as she lifts her gaze. “I saw a few, just a couple from your friend Zack. And then I saw a few from Trini.”

 

Kimberly swallows hard, “Mom…”

 

“And then she called.”

 

Kimberly feels her stomach bottom out as she remembers what the photo is whenever Trini calls; it isn’t one of them kissing or anything such as that, but it’s _intimate._ It’s a photo that Kimberly took of Trini a few days ago, it’s a simple shot but Kimberly can remember the exact emotions she felt while taking the photo. There Trini sat, distracted by morning cartoons and her brothers, and Kimberly couldn’t resist capturing the candid moment so she could relive it over again; it was supposed to be for _her_ eyes only.

 

And if that isn’t bad enough, Kimberly knows her phone isn’t on vibrate which means her mother heard the ringtone. Trini’s ringtone is a song she wrote for Kimberly, it was a joke and they had recorded it one day in the mines while the boys played catch but it still meant the world to Kimberly. There was no disguising exactly what Trini meant when she sang ‘ _think of you when I’m going to bed, when I wake up think of you again’_ ; Kimberly knows her mother has caught onto her little secret, and she can feel her nerves eating away at her.

 

“Kimberly, I didn’t intend to invade your privacy,” Madeline sighs as she turns to show Kimberly her phone screen. “But I think you can understand my concern when it comes to you and phones.”

 

Kimberly feels her stomach turn as she realizes that her mother has gone through her photo album. Her mother has seen pictures of her with the boys, candids of her beautiful lake, and the many snaps of Trini she has. Trini in her workout gear, Trini with powder on her nose, Trini’s flood of silly and sexy selfies, and Trini with her lips pressed adoringly against Kimberly’s. There is no hiding it now, there is no way to avoid this.

 

“These are beautiful pictures, Kimberly.”

 

The words cause her head to snap up as she sees her mother gliding easily through her photos, “W-What?”

 

“I never really thought you’d have an eye for this kind of stuff.” Madeline admits as she tilts her head. “You know, Trini should really consider a career in modeling. She’s gorgeous.”

 

Kimberly lights up with a blush, “I don’t understand…”

 

“We’ve known for awhile, about the two of you,” Madeline smiles as she lifts her head to look at her daughter. “I knew the second you brought her back around and took it upon yourself to _reintroduce_ her, the poor thing. Your father wouldn’t stop laughing after the two of you left.”

 

Kimberly sputters for a moment, “Why?”

 

“Because we know our daughter and we could see how you lit up every time Trini so much as looked your way.” Madeline says as she offers Kimberly her phone. “Does she make you as happy as you seem?”

 

“Is that like the obligatory question to ask your kid when they come out?” Kimberly demands as she takes the phone. “I read up on it.”

 

“So did your father and I.” Madeline admits with a shake of her head. “That was one of the questions they suggested that we ask you. Oh, we’re also supposed to discuss safe sex again.”

 

“Mom, no.” Kimberly scoffs as she looks down at her phone, looks down at her lock screen of her and Trini. “And to answer your question, I am happy. I...us getting together wasn’t for the most romantic reason but we’re very happy.”

 

“Then that’s all we need to know. You’re a smart girl with a wonderful future ahead of you, your sexuality will always be the least of our worries.” Madeline assures her. “Your father and I just want to ensure you have an amazing life.”

 

“With Trini?” Kimberly teases.

 

“I think she’s wonderful and is as polite as can be. She has my vote. And you know how your father just adores her.” Madeline sighs with a soft smile. “We just want what’s best for you and we want you to be happy, we’re so glad you are.”

 

Kimberly heaves a breath as she steps into her mom and curls her arms around her, “I love you so much.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

Madeline presses the softest of kisses to Kimberly’s head and draws away one with one last smile. It’s the same smile she used to give Kimberly when she was learning how to swim and when she was cheering; it was a smile of pride. Kimberly sniffles slightly as Madeline moves past her and leaves her daughter to attempt to grasp on what exactly happened; she figures she’ll need a few _days_ to gather her thoughts of disbelief and relief together.

 

“Honey,” Madeline calls, and Kimberly looks up at her with wide eyes and a bright smile. “Invite Trini over for dinner, it’s been too long since we’ve seen her.”

 

“You saw her last week!” Kimberly laughs.

 

“Exactly.” Madeline winks.

 

The woman slips from her room and leaves Kimberly to stare after her mother in disbelief; she can only think of how lucky she is to have her parents. With a shake of her head, Kimberly grabs her phone and shoots out a cancellation to the group before she switches to her and Trini’s private conversation; Kimberly smiles when Trini easily accepts her invitation.

 

Kimberly leaves her room and leans against the banister so she can see her parents, “Hey, Trini is coming over.”

 

“My favorite daughter?” Edwin gasps.

 

“Dad!”

 

“I’m kidding.” Edwin chuckles as he looks up at her with warm, loving brown eyes. “I hope you know how proud I am of you, sweetheart.”

 

Kimberly has to restrain herself from leaping over the banister, she instead barrels down the stairs and into her father’s open arms.

 

-

 

Zack and Trini swap dating horror stories one night over a case of beer and a campfire. For a few hours, she is allowed the freedom of just _forgetting_. The flowers come if she laughs too hard, and she throws an empty beer can at Zack when he offers to make a flower crown for her. Before they know it, they’re both drunk and Zack has pulled out a bottle of vodka that Trini is cradling like a baby while they play a game of truth or dare (mostly it consists of truths). Slowly the two unravel their tightly wound pasts and spill out secrets like two gossiping girls.

 

Zack tells her a story about his first love, a girl named Callie Mendes. Apparently she was beautiful, from her gorgeous green eyes to hair Zack drunkingly compares to a bag of coal. She was Zack’s first everything, including his first heartbreak. He gets that look on his face as he steals the bottle from Trini’s grasp and takes a long swig before he tells her that Callie cheated, that she took his heart and pulled out all the important parts and when she grew bored she sought out another heart to pick apart and destroy.

 

“That...sucks.” Trini frowns.

 

“Yeah. It did.” Zack snorts as he tilts the bottle against his lips. “The worst part? The worst part was that I brought her home to my mom. I let her _in_ , and she just slammed the door when she wanted to leave.”

 

“Well, fuck her.”

 

Zack laughs loudly through a mouthful of alcohol, “Yeah. Fuck her.”

 

“No, dude,” Trini frowns as she moves to stand on a log, and Zack snorts he sees that it barely adds an inch to her height. “I want you to tell the whole world. Fuck her! Fuck her for cheating, fuck her for hurting you, fuck her for _everything._ ”

 

“What about you, crazy girl?” Zack demands as he offers the bottle to her willing hands. “I can’t be the only one who is yelling at an ex. So, lemme hear it. Tell me who you’re screaming at.”

 

“Me.” Trini mumbles as she knocks back a mouthful that burns through the petals in her throat.

 

“Gotta give me more than that.”

 

Trini rolls her eyes, “I’m so _stupid_. I fell in love with the one person I shouldn’t and now I’m literally dying because of it. But I’m yelling at _me_ because I’m scared. I’m scared that Kimberly wants me, I’m scared that she doesn’t _actually_ want me. I’m scared that I’m not good enough for her. I’m fucking _scared._ ”

 

“Well, fuck that.” Zack smirks.

 

Zack stumbles his way onto his own log and the two yell at the top of their lungs. They do it until their throats burn and their lungs ache. They do it until they feel like they’re releasing small broken pieces of themselves. They do it up until Zack’s voice cracks and their yells become laughter as they drop back onto their logs and Zack pops open a beer for himself. Over the fire, the two chase away their pain with the only thing that makes their problems muggy.

 

“Dare or dare.” Zack offers.

 

Trini tilts her head mockingly and furrows her brow, “I think I’m gonna go ahead and go with a dare.”

 

“Alright.” Zack chuckles as he braces his elbows on his knees and meets Trini’s gaze through dancing flames. “I dare you to stop being scared and accept the fact that Kim really does like you.”

 

Trini swallows hard and scoffs, “Touche.”

 

An hour later, the pair are so far past drunk that Trini has no recollection of calling Kimberly; all she knows is one minute she is beating Zack with a stick and the next she is in Kimberly’s car with the radio cranked loud. She rolls her head on the headrest and watches the way Kimberly simply stares out the windshield, and Trini sighs adoringly at how beautiful Kimberly is, how she can look so flawless even at two in the morning.

 

“Kim?” Trini slurs. “Do you write lots of songs about me?”

 

Kimberly flashes her a look and arches an eyebrow, “Maybe.”

 

“Why?” Trini demands.

 

“Because someone likes you deserves to have songs written about them.” Kimberly shrugs as she twists down the road leading to her house. “In fact, you deserve to have a million songs written for you.”

 

“Sing me one.” Trini orders.

 

Kimberly laughs softly as she glances to Trini before she reaches out to turn down the radio. For a moment, the cruise of the tires is the only sound that surrounds them and Trini waits patiently for Kimberly to sing. Kimberly tightens her grasp on her steering wheel as she looks out at the dark road and pours through the many songs that run deep in her veins; finally she sighs and taps a beat on her steering wheel.

 

“We build it up, we tear it down. And leave our pieces on the ground. We see no end and we don’t know how, we are lost and we’re falling. Hold onto me, you’re all I have. You’re all I have.”

 

Trini hums in contentment, “Pretty.”

 

Minutes later she’s asleep, and Kimberly sings on.

 

-

 

Billy is exhausted. He spends every moment he has in the ship with Alpha working on a cure. He even sneaks in a few ideas during classes or when he’s laying in bed at night. All he does is think of how he can _fix_ this, and Jason can see him slowly wearing out. The moon rises behind him as Jason jumps off the ledge of the cliff and breaks through the water below; he ruffles his wet hair as he slips into the safety of the ship and follows the voices that bounce off each other in the control room.

 

“That formula is off, Master Billy,” Alpha frowns as he looks at what is written on the board. “And we can’t include any dosages of penicillin, there’s a history of an allergy in the Gomez bloodline.”

 

Billy scratches his head and erases the few things written, “How about this? We can slow the growth down, right?”

 

Jason lingers back and stuffs his hands in his pockets as he watches them work. He feels so useless, he’s supposed to be the leader and all he has done so far is encourage Kimberly to date Trini and occasionally help Trini clean up blood from her shirts. He feels like everything he does is useless, it doesn’t compare to everyone else; Billy has the brains and the formulas, Zack is Trini’s best friend and knows what she needs before she voices it, and Kimberly is simply Trini’s everything. Jason just feels like the guy left on the side.

 

“What are you doing here?”

 

Jason clears away his negative thoughts as Billy quickly approaches him, “I wanted to come check on you. You’ve been staying after training every night for the last three weeks.”

 

“I’m trying to figure out a way to help Trini. I’ve been putting a few ideas together since we found out, and Alpha is helping.” Billy explains as he furrows his brow. “I don’t really feel like I’m getting anywhere though.”

 

“I’m sure you are, man.” Jason sighs.

 

“Trini’s vitals are getting worse, Jason. Alpha monitored them last night and he seemed worried.” Billy whispers. “A-And Kimberly cries a lot, but only when she knows Trini isn’t watching. They’re so sad and I don’t know what to do.”

 

Jason pulls a hand from his pocket and sets it on Billy’s shoulder, “None of us know what to do.”

 

“Science is supposed to be able to fix everything, even broken hearts,” Billy mumbles as he ducks his head. “But my science isn’t good enough, I’m not working fast enough. If something happens to her then it’ll be my fault.”

 

Jason scoffs softly, “Billy…”

 

“I don’t want Trini to die.” Billy murmurs.

 

“Look at me,” Jason orders as he squeezes Billy’s shoulder and waits to catch his gaze before his hand falls away. “Nothing is going to happen, we’re going to take care of her. I have every bit of confidence in you that you’re going to figure something out.”

 

Billy shakes his head, “I don’t think I _can_ fix this, Jason. The probability of finding a cure before her body begins to shut down is less than seventy five percent. Zordon is right, only Kim can fix this.”

 

“Then I guess we have to take all our confidence and hopes and just give them to Kimberly.” Jason suggests. “But you can’t beat yourself up because you can’t find a cure.”

 

“I just...I want her to be okay.” Billy whispers.

 

Jason hesitates for a moment before he finally curls an arm around Billy who slowly leans into his side, “All of us want her to be okay, Billy. And she will be.”

 

“Promise?”

 

Jason winces, “I promise.”

 

-

 

Kimberly laughs and rolls her eyes as her parents press on, “It really isn’t _that_ funny. It’s just hair, it’ll grow back.”

 

“Well, listen to that,” Edwin smirks as he reaches for his glass of water. “Our daughter is actually throwing back the words we said to her when she was six and took scissors to her bangs.”

 

“Either way you look beautiful, sweetheart. It really suits you.” Madeline assures her as she reaches out to pat her daughter’s hand. “Your father and I didn’t mean to make fun of you, we were just remembering how stubborn you were and how nothing has changed.”

 

Kimberly smiles softly at her parents before her phone springs to life beside her; she can feel the looks of disapproval from her parents, but she can’t deny that her heart skips a beat when Trini’s name pops up. She tries to remain cool as she flashes her mother a look of apology before she reaches for her phone; she knows there has to be a good reason for Trini to call, she knows that this is the time she has reserved for her parents.

 

Kimberly answers quickly, “Trini?”

 

_“Kimmy?”_

 

Everything comes to a screeching halt at the soft voice on the opposite end of the line. Dread spreads through her as hears the sniffles on the opposite end of the line; with a shudder of a breath, she looks to her parents who stare back with worry. Kimberly can’t seem to speak, all that she can do is open her mouth and silently will _something_ to just come out; anything would be fine at this point.

 

“Mateo?”

 

_“It’s Alec. Kimmy, papi and mami yelled at Tree and they were saying mean things that made her cry and…”_

“Hey, hey. Calm down, Alec,” Kimberly orders as she fumbles from her seat while her father stands as well. “What kind of fight did they get in, buddy? Is Trini okay? Did they hurt her?”

 

Edwin freezes, “Kimberly…”

 

Kimberly holds a finger up at her father as she tightens her grasp on her phone till it softly cracks, “Alec?”

 

_“They were yelling and screaming and throwing things! Trini was crying and crying and crying...Mateo says she could fill a swimming pool up with all those tears. But now she won’t come out of her room.”_

“Okay, okay.” Kimberly breathes out as she throws her father a wide eyed look. “Stay where you are, Alec. I’m gonna come over and make it all better.”

 

_“But papi and mami…”_

“It’s okay, kiddo. I’ll be there soon, just wait for me.” Kimberly orders as she quickly ends the call and looks to her father with wet eyes. “Daddy?”

 

“Get your jacket. Let’s go.”

 

-

 

Trini is silent. So silent that it almost feels awkward. She has been this way since the moment Kimberly and her father had appeared at her doorstep. There had been an argument between Edwin and Trini’s parents, and Trini had thrown herself into her arms with a petal on the corner of her mouth. After that, Kimberly had barely noticed anything other than the weight of Trini in her arms when she had scooped her up and carried her to the car. And that leads to this very moment of Trini staring up at nothing with her head in Kimberly’s lap while soft fingers brush through her hair.

 

“How did you know?”

 

Kimberly jumps at Trini’s soft question and her brow furrows, “What?”

 

“How did you know what was going on at my house?” Trini demands. “I know Jason is convinced that we’re all magically linked at the brain, but I’m a little bit smarter than that…so, how did you know?”

 

“Your brother called.”

 

Trini rolls her eyes, “Did Alec tell you what happened?”

 

“And how do you know it was Alec? It could’ve been Mateo.” Kimberly teases as she scratches at Trini’s scalp.

 

Trini shifts so she can stare up at Kimberly with an amused half smile, “Alec is tech savvy, Mateo is the one who is all about art. Mateo doesn’t even know how to work his iPad and Alec could easily take his apart and put it back together.”

 

“Another fun fact about your family. I’ll add that to my book of knowledge.” Kimberly smirks, and her stomach flutters as Trini laughs softly. “And to answer your question, no. They just told me that your parents were yelling at you.”

 

Trini sobers into a frown, “Yeah. They decided tonight was going to be the night they addressed my sexuality. My dad was cool up until my mom freaked out, and then he just...he _changed_. Just like he always does with her.”

 

“Babe, I am...I’m _so_ sorry.”

 

“You don’t have anything to be sorry about, Kim.” Trini scoffs. “My dad and I used to be really close, I was a total daddy’s girl. But then I told my parents I wanted to marry Jennifer Lopez and my mom lost it...and I lost my dad.”

 

Kimberly sucks in a breath, “Sweetie, you don’t have to…”

 

“You’re my girlfriend, you deserve the right to know about this.” Trini replies, and she laughs softly when Kimberly preens at the title and squirms. “You do know you’re my girlfriend, right?”

 

“I do now.” Kimberly whispers.

 

“Yeah, yeah.” Trini snorts before she rolls into Kimberly and tucks her nose against her stomach. “Anyway, my parents thought they’d _discuss_ my feelings so I told them. I told them about you. I told them that I loved you, that we were together.”

 

“And?”

 

Trini shrugs, “And my mom threw a teacup at me. Because, you know, that’s the reaction you should have to your child coming out to you. Especially when you practically force it out of them.”

 

“I don’t really like your parents very much right now.” Kimberly admits as her cheeks flush with anger. “I don’t understand how someone like _you_ could come from people like that. Everyone has their faults, but your parents…”

 

“They don’t understand.” Trini cuts in. “My dad tries, he really does. He doesn’t like it, but at least he _tries_. My mom just yells at me, the same thing over and over. Asado en el infierno, Trinity Santana.”

 

Kimberly arches an eyebrow, “I failed Spanish so…”

 

“She tells me I’m going to roast in hell, and tons of other fun things.” Trini sighs. “I just hate that my little brothers have to be around that, y’know? They’re so young and innocent, and our mom just shoves all her beliefs down their throats.”

 

“I don’t think they believe any of it, their main concern seems to be your happiness. They wanted me to save you so badly tonight.” Kimberly whispers as she looks down at the girl in her arms. “Your brothers are so lucky to have you, Trini.”

 

“What?” Trini scoffs.

 

“Those boys adore you, and you have taught them so much. Trini, I see _so_ much of you in them. And not the version your parents want but rather the version you have slowly become.” Kimberly smiles as she plays with dark locks. “The version I’m lucky enough to call my girlfriend.”

 

Trini snorts and rolls to look at Kimberly with a smirk, “You’re very lucky.”

 

Kimberly narrows her eyes and leans down to press a soft kiss to that smirk. As soon as their lips meet, Trini clings to her and Kimberly lets her take what she needs. After a few hours of soft conversation, Kimberly finds herself nervously sat on the end of the bed as she listens to Trini in the bathroom. They had been in the middle of trading soft kisses when the first pink camellia petal had found itself on Kimberly’s tongue, and then the wet coughs began. Trini had raced off into the bathroom and refused to let Kimberly in, all her girlfriend could do was sit there and listen to the retching on the opposite side of the door; all she could do was sit here feeling useless and _waiting_ for something to do. Finally, it went quiet and Kimberly hears the shower kick on; she gathers clothes for Trini and slips them into the bathroom before she changes into her own pajamas.

 

“You are way too tall.” Trini mumbles as she wonders out of the bathroom moments later with black shorts and an oversized Angel Grove cheer t-shirt. “This shirt is swallowing me.”

 

Kimberly blinks in awe, “I am starting to understand why guys like to see their girlfriends’ in their clothes. Wow. You look...wow, Trini.”

 

“They’re pajamas.” Trini stutters as she tries to fight her blush.

 

“Yeah, but they’re _my_ pajamas and you’re _my_ girl so I like it.” Kimberly smirks as she stands and wonders to wrap her arms around Trini’s waist. “Are you okay? Did you find the spare toothbrush?”

 

“I did.” Trini sighs as she strings her arms around Kimberly’s neck. “Did you guys all just agree to keep spare toothbrushes at your houses just for me? And did you all guys have to buy ones that are _your_ colors? A yellow one would be nice.”

 

“I will pass that message along.” Kimberly assures her as she drops a quick kiss to Trini’s hairline. “Um, so did you want to sleep in my bed and I’ll head to the guest bedroom or…?”

 

Trini tilts her head in confusion, “Huh?”

 

“I just figured you’d probably be more comfortable sleeping somewhere far away from me. I might not be able to control myself.” Kimberly admits. “You’re just too cute sometimes.”

 

“I am so not _cute_.” Trini huffs.

 

“Uh huh. Yeah. Sure. Did you know that was the first thing my mom said about you after you guys met? She said you were so cute. So did Jason.” Kimberly giggles, and the sound grows at Trini’s scowl. “Aw, baby. I’m just kidding.”

 

“You suck.” Trini grumbles as she shoves away from Kimberly. “Just for that, you can sleep on the left side tonight.”

 

“Whatever. Like you’ll allow that.” Kimberly snorts as she trails Trini to the bed and helps her peel back the comforter. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

 

Trini looks to her before she gives a small nod and scrambles into the bed while a laughing Kimberly follows. The two rustle around and Kimberly rolls over to flip off the light and lifts an arm until Trini is pressed against her side with her head on her chest. This is Kimberly’s favorite way to cuddle her girlfriend, it allows her to feel every breath Trini takes and it assures her that her girlfriend is alive and well.

 

“Kim?”

 

“Hm?” Kimberly yawns and drops her nose into damp, dark hair.

 

Trini snuggles further into her, “Sing to me?”

  
Kimberly tightens her grasp, “Okay. No, I don’t hardly know her. But I think I could love her. Crimson and clover.”


	3. will you let it die or let it grow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: If you're uncomfortable with the idea of blood and/or vomit then do not continue on. It isn't graphic, but I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
> 
> Also, this chapter is rated M.

“Would you like to explain why you felt the need to leave this house the way you did? And why you felt the need to involve another person in a personal matter?” June demands as she glares at her daughter. “I want an answer from you, Trinity.”

 

Trini shifts on the couch, “It’s not a personal matter for the person when the person I involved is the same one I’m dating…”

 

“Este no es quien eres.” June snaps as looks to her daughter with fire in her dark eyes. “You were raised _right_. You were raised far away from this kind of sin. I don’t understand how you strayed.”

 

“This _is_ who I am, Mami!” Trini exclaims, and her parents blink in surprise at her loud voice. “Oh dios mío, Mami. How many different ways do I have to spell this out for you? I’m gay, I like girls. I’m dating one and she makes me happier than I have ever been. She is…”

 

“A mistake.” June cuts in, and she immediately settles when Trini sinks under her look. “Trinity, mija, this is just a mistake. A phase. We’ll speak with Father Ortega and get this all sorted out, he’s going to fix this. He’ll fix _you._ ”

 

“She’s not broken, June.”

 

Trini looks up in surprise at her father’s comment, and she watches as he slowly removes his glasses to pinch at the bridge of his nose. She can see the exhaustion in the way he slumps forward with his elbows on his knees and the confusion in his eyes. Trini knows he doesn’t get it, but she can see in this way his brow furrows that he really is trying; he’s trying desperately to understand his daughter.

 

“Victor,” June begins in a calm voice. “I know that it seems that way, but something we did made her think that being with another girl is _okay_. I’m asking her for one simple thing, I rarely do and…”

 

“She has given us everything we’ve asked of her.” Victor snaps. “You told her to get her grades up, she’s on the honor roll. You asked her to consider a sport, she tried out for the soccer team. You begged her to find friends, and she has a handful of them. June, she is trying to keep up with your demands but it’s just too much.”

 

“Too much?” June scoffs. “No. Victor, there are ways to fix this. Father Ortega can find different camps and therapists for her. He can figure out a way to cure her.”

 

Trini gags at the thought, at the idea of someone telling her that her love is wrong. The flower blooms in her chest and Trini clutches a hand to it and curls her fingers in hope of quelling it. She can hear her mother, but it sounds like everything is a million miles away. All she hears is the constant words of how wrong her feelings are, how there are ways for her to be normal again; all she can hear is her mother begging her father to stand by her.

 

“Daddy,” Trini whimpers as she lifts her head. “Please, Papi. Please don’t send me away.”

 

Victor looks at her and then hardens his gaze as he turns to his wife, “You aren’t sending her anywhere, June. Forget the camps, forget the therapists, forget the preachers, just forget _all_ of it. It isn’t happening, I won’t let you put our daughter through that.”

 

“We don’t even know who she is anymore!”

 

“Because we stopped trying to learn about her!” Victor exclaims. “We bombard her with question after question, but it’s really just us interrogating her. When is the last time we asked her about her day and _meant_ it? When did we stop caring about our children’s happiness and start caring about our images?”

 

June shakes her head, “This is _wrong._ ”

 

“No. _We’re_ wrong. Look at her, she is healthy and beautiful.” Victor whispers as he gestures to his silent daughter. “We are so lucky, June. Our children are alive and they’re _here_. Why does it matter who they choose to love?”

 

Trini allows her tears to fall as she pushes herself from the couch and moves to collapse in her father’s arms. _This_ is what she’s been praying for, this exact moment. Victor tightens his grasp on his daughter and draws her into his lap; he holds on, and Trini hopes he never lets go again.

 

-

 

“Have you ever had sex?”

 

Zack falters and groans as a putty slams a hand into his chest before Trini smashes her fist through it, “ _What_?”

 

“Don’t make it a big deal.” Trini orders as she slides along the floor to bust through the knee of a putty. “I just want to know if you’ve ever had sex. So, as my best friend, answer me.”

 

“Aw, I’m your best friend? I knew it. I tried to tell Jason but he said your best friend was your attitude.” Zack sighs as he fires a kick into a rock chest. “To answer your question, yes. Why do you want to know? Looking for some action?”

 

“Do you want Kim to kill you?” Trini asks, and Zack immediately shakes his head at the thought. “So, I think Kimberly might be ready to take the next step. I’m not entirely ready, but she is and I just wanna know how all that...stuff goes.”

 

“Wait.You’re a virgin?” Zack demands.

 

“Yeah, not that it’s a big deal.” Trini growls as she drives a fist through the abdomen of a putty before she shoots Zack a glare. “I was waiting for the right person.”

 

“I think you were just waiting for Kim.” Zack smirks, and he barely has time to smash the putty that Trini kicks his way. “Look, having sex is a big deal in a relationship so I get why you’re hesitant. It’s...complicated the first time though.”

 

Trini ducks and frowns, “Complicated?”

 

“Yeah, crazy girl. It’s awkward.” Zack admits as he drops to his knees to avoid a fist. “Lots of fumbling hands, cursing, awkward blushing, weird kisses...but it’s awesome.”

 

“Does it hurt?”

 

“I mean, it depends on how rough the other person is. Something tells me Kim is gonna be a giver more than a receiver.” Zack hums before he looks to his friend. “In all seriousness, it’s scary. You’re just giving yourself over to someone, and all you can do is hope they don’t ruin you.”

 

“That’s the part that scares me. It’s just so fucking... _intimate_. I mean, she’s going to see me naked and I don’t really know if I want that.” Trini scoffs as she easily slides between Zack’s legs to shatter a putty’s kneecap.

 

“Crazy girl, you are smoking. She’d be lucky to see you naked.” Zack scoffs.

 

“Thanks for that, dude.” Trini chuckles with a roll of her eyes. “I don’t know, it’s all just kinda scary.”

 

“You’ve just gotta do what’s best for you. Just talk to her. You’re together so this is a conversation you should be having with _her_. You got this.” Zack assures her.

 

Trini forces a smile; she really doesn’t, but she’ll pretend she does for now.

 

-

 

Trini hears him before she sees him. She rolls over in bed in time to see Jason go wide eyed before he falls out of her view; she is a little amused that Jason thinks he can outrun her, and even through blurry eyes she scrambles out of bed and hurries to throw herself out the window. By the grace of whatever, she lands on the soft padding of Jason’s back and brings them both crashing onto the front yard. From below her, he groans and rolls over with her caged in his arm.

 

“Thanks for that.” Jason grumbles as he shifts to easily move her onto his back as he stands. “Kim is going to kill me when she finds out I woke you up.”

 

“Kim?” Trini repeats.

 

“Yeah, she has us taking shifts to keep an eye on you.” Jason explains as he scrambles up the tree towards Trini’s window. “So, back to bed and I’ll return to my post outside.”

 

“Your post?” Trini snorts, and a small grunt leaves her as Jason simply arches his back to deposit her on her bed. “This isn’t the war, and you really don’t need to sleep outside. I have a floor.”

 

Jason laughs and ducks his head, “I highly doubt Kimberly would like the idea of me sleeping in your room.”

 

“You’re just sleeping, golden boy,” Trini points out as she stands to gather a blanket and pillow for her closet. “Kim is the only one who gets the benefits of things when she sneaks in.”

 

“Wow.” Jason chuckles.

 

Trini smirks at the amusement in his eyes as she tosses him the bedding, “Hard to believe right? Angel Grove’s princess defiling the resident nobody? It’s a story to tell the grandkids one day.”

 

“You’re not a nobody.”

 

Trini goes to laugh only for a cough to tickle up her throat instead. Suddenly, their light and easy moment becomes one of comfort as Jason rushes to wrap an arm around her and pat lightly at her back. It doesn’t take long for the carnation to come up, and she barely spares him a glance as she tosses it into her trashcan and reaches for the glass of water on her bedside table. It’s amazing what one little flower can do to her, how easily it can almost bring her to her knees; she finds it ironic that Kimberly can basically do the same thing.

 

“Come on, lay down.” Jason orders as he urges her forward and helps her into her queen sized bed. “Do you want me to sneak downstairs and get you some more water or something?”

 

“Not quite.” Trini mumbles as she curls into her pillow. “Can you just platonically cuddle me? Or is that weird?”

 

“It’s totally weird, but then again we literally have suits built into our skin and we have a wall dad so nothing is _too_ weird nowadays. So, scoot over.” Jason orders with a lopsided smile. “And let’s not tell Kim about this, alright?”

 

“You act like she’ll kill you…”

 

“You should see her, T,” Jason sighs as he offers his hand to his teammate, and a smile crosses his face as tiny fingers wrap around his. “She worries _constantly_. If she isn’t here then she’s working with Alpha and Billy to figure out how to fix this.”

 

Trini blinks in shock and rolls over to rest her head on Jason’s shoulder, “You guys are trying to fix this?”

 

“You’re like our little sister, Trini. Billy can barely think about anything other than formulas and vaccines. Zack has talked to his mom’s doctors. And I...I just don’t know _what_ to do. I’m supposed to be the leader, I’m supposed to be able to protect all of you guys.” Jason sighs.

 

“You can’t protect us from everything. Some battles we have to fight on our own, oh wise leader.” Trini teases. “Thank you, Jason. For caring.”

 

“Always, T.” Jason whispers as he drops a kiss to her head. “Get some sleep.”

 

Trini drifts off against his shoulder, and Jason follows suit moments later. They’re both so exhausted that they sleep through Zack coming to check on them and Trini’s morning alarm; it isn’t till Trini hears her father calling her name as he knocks that she sits up with wide eyes. With a soft curse, Trini groans and manages to shove Jason off her bed and he grumbles in discomfort as he hits the ground.

 

“What the _hell_ , Trini?”

 

“Hide.”

 

Jason rubs tiredly at his eyes, “Huh?”

 

“Hide!” Trini hisses.

 

“Mija, your mami made breakfast. I even had her make you a fruit salad.” Victor smiles as he steps in the room, and his gaze falls for a moment. “There’s uh extra food downstairs too.”

 

Trini nods, “Thanks.”

  
“How about I bring you up some of your mami’s famous champurrado?” Victor offers as he straightens his tie. “She made it just the way you like it.”

  
“That’s okay, Papi. I uh I need to get ready for school so I’ll just…”

 

Victor arches an eyebrow, “Does your friend want some?”

 

“What?” Trini demands with wide eyes.

 

“Jason, is it?” Victor asks as he leans against the doorway, and Jason slowly appears with a sheepish expression. “Do I even want to ask what you’re doing in my daughter’s room?”

 

“Papi, he was…”

 

Victor holds a hand up to silence his blushing daughter, “So, are you dating my little princesa or do you make it a habit to break into people’s bedrooms in the middle of the night?”

 

“We’re not dating, sir. It was totally just some...platonic snuggling.” Jason offers, and he rubs awkwardly at the back of his head as Victor glares. “I assure you that nothing happened, sir. I don’t think her girlfriend would like that.”

 

“Ah, that’s right,” Victor hums as he looks to Trini, and her heart thuds heavily in her chest when she sees him soften. “He is right, I don’t think your girlfriend would approve of this.”

 

Trini gaps and blinks in shock, “Probably not.”

 

“Alright then, mija. I’ll set up an extra place at the table for your friend.” Victor smiles before it disappears as he turns a glare Jason’s way. “Don’t let me catch you in here again, young man.”

 

Jason salutes, “Yes sir.”

 

Victor leaves a moment later and the two teens swap looks before they burst into laughter; leave it to _them_ to be the ones who get caught. With a shake of his head, Jason ruffles his messy hair and watches as Trini stretches out her limbs and reaches for a pair of glasses on the bedside table before she grabs a few aspirin.

 

“I probably should’ve slept in the tree.”

 

Trini laughs and looks back at him, “Nah. You just helped me with something that I’ve been working towards for a long time. My dad finally gets it, I have a girlfriend. And he’s cool with it.”

 

Jason beams as he jumps back onto the bed to cradle Trini to him, “Happy I could help you out.”

 

“I knew you were good for something.”

 

-

 

Kimberly admits to herself that she feels a little bit like a hormonal teenage boy, she walks around with a constant ache and spends one too many nights with Trini on her mind and her hands on her own body. She wants Trini so badly, but there’s a part of her that screams to slow down. She wants Trini to make the first move, she wants to make sure it happens on her girlfriend’s terms. But moments like these, when her lips dance along tan skin and her hands curl around soft lace, it makes that voice in her head go quiet.

 

“Shit.” Trini moans as she arches into Kimberly’s hands and squeezes her eyes shut. “Fuck, Kim.”

 

“Feel good, babe?” Kimberly whispers as she drags her lips down the length of Trini’s neck til she feels nails dig into the skin of her shoulder blades. “Do you want to go up to my room?”

 

Trini jerks back slightly, “Huh?”

 

“My room. I was hoping we could move this upstairs.” Kimberly explains as she braces her weight on the hand placed beside Trini’s head. “My parents are at a fundraiser so we have the house to ourselves for the next few hours.”

 

“Oh.”

 

Kimberly tilts her head slowly, “You okay?”

 

“Uh, yeah. Totally.” Trini nods as she gives a hard swallow and pushes Kimberly till she is fumbling off her. “Let’s uh let’s do this.”

 

“Trini, wait,” Kimberly whispers as she grabs a hold of her girlfriend’s hand when she begins to rise. “Baby, we don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. This is a big step, and I don’t want you to be nervous about it.”

 

Trini bites her lower lip and sweeps a strand of hair behind her ear, “I just think I’m going to be nervous until it happens, y’know? I just don’t want it to be weird and I don’t want to hurt you. I just...I want everything to be perfect.”

 

“Trini, nobody’s first time is ever perfect. Mine wasn’t.” Kimberly scoffs, and Trini pouts at the mention of her past. “Look, I know that movies makes it out to be perfect, but it’s not. It’s awkward and a little uncomfortable, but _that_ is how it’s supposed to be.”

 

“That’s what Zack said…”

 

Kimberly slowly arches an eyebrow, “You talked about this with Zack?”

 

“I did.” Trini nods. “Is that okay?”

 

“Yeah. Of course. It just explains why he keeps giving me weird looks.” Kimberly snorts, and a smile slides across her lips as Trini laughs softly. “He even mentioned something about making love and now it suddenly makes sense.”

 

Trini huffs and scowls at that, “Hey, he doesn’t need to be discussing making love anywhere near you. I’m gonna punch him in the face the next time I see him.”

 

“Alright, alright. Relax, Rocky.” Kimberly giggles as she rocks forward to press their foreheads together. “Are you okay? Is there anything else you wanted to talk about?”

 

“Nope.” Trini replies as she reaches out to play with the necklace that rests against Kimberly’s chest. “Some day we’ll have sex, right?”

 

Kimberly nods, “Some day.”

 

And God does she hope some day comes soon.

 

-

 

Victor seems to make it his mission to make Trini comfortable, and soon June learns to just keep her mouth shut and let it happen. That’s how their little group ends up hanging out at the Gomez household for a movie night; the plan was to drink at Kimberly’s, but Victor seemed eager for Trini to have her friends over. The night mostly consists of them watching movies and stuffing their faces up until Alec and Mateo appear in the Power Rangers costumes June had sewed them, after that it turns to a playful battle with pillow fights and plastic swords.

 

Everything is so _perfect_ , and Trini only sneaks away a few times to empty her happiness into a trashcan. They all pass out spread across the floor of the living room, and Zack blinks furiously as he sits up and rubs at his eyes. He can hear laughter and the sunlight beams down on him; he doesn’t remember falling asleep, and he certainly doesn’t remember cuddling with Jason. A blush colors his cheeks as he pushes Jason away, and the boy quickly sits up with a half-snore as he looks around with heavy lidded eyes.

 

“What smells good?” Jason mumbles.

 

“Is that your first thought when you wake up, jockstrap? Food?” Zack teases as he stretches his aching limbs out. “But something really does smell good.”

 

“Trini is probably making breakfast.”

 

Zack jumps and looks over to see Kimberly running her fingers through her messy dark locks, “Aw, that’s so _cute._  She makes breakfast for you.”

 

“Trini cooks and bakes for me all the time. She likes being in the kitchen.” Kimberly yawns while she pulls her hair into a sloppy ponytail before she sees Jason and Zack eyeing her. “What?”

 

“She cooks and bakes for you _willingly_? All the time?” Jason demands as he stands while his teammates follow. “Damn. You’re lucky, you hit the jackpot. Even my mom stopped cooking for my dad.”

 

Kimberly rolls her eyes and leads them into the kitchen where the twins are running around in matching Batman pajamas while Billy helps Trini measure flour. A sigh of contentment leaves Kimberly as she crosses the room to curl her arms around Trini’s waist before she brushes a gentle kiss over her shoulder. She stays there for a moment, her eyes closed and the happiness clear, until Trini squirms in an effort to free herself.

 

“Whatcha making?” Kimberly hums as she dips her finger into the batter before she pops it into her mouth. “Pancakes? Waffles?”

 

Trini flashes her a look, “I still don’t understand why you like the taste of the batter. It’s so plain.”

 

“Good point.” Kimberly nods before she ducks her finger back into the bowl and pulls it out to smear along Trini’s cheek. “Now if I eat it, it’ll taste like you and you’re my _favorite_ flavor.”

 

Trini burns with a blush and shivers as Kimberly softly kisses the batter away and leaves her forehead against Trini’s temple for a moment. Trini turns her head and captures Kimberly’s lips, she hears her brothers squealing and Zack making noise right alongside them but Trini is too focused on the task at hand; her hand fumbles for the bowl and she grabs a handful of wet batter before she smears it down Kimberly’s neck and over the front of her t-shirt.

 

“Cold!” Kimberly exclaims.

 

“Payback.” Trini smirks.

 

Kimberly huffs as she reaches for the bag of flour nearby and Trini turns to run, but a strong arm curls around her torso and she gasps as she is covered. Around them, a smaller food fight breaks out and Billy tries to calm them down while shielding himself behind Jason who does his best to keep him out of the line of fire. Trini fumbles for the carton of abandoned eggs, and Kimberly quickly grabs a hold of her wrist and turns to pin her against the counter with the egg pressed between them. Both girls are breathless as they laugh and it dawns on Trini how goddamn happy she is, how each day with Kimberly just seems like a new adventure for her.

 

Trini drops the egg as she circles her arms around Kimberly’s neck and pulls her into a soft kiss. It doesn’t matter to her that Kimberly is sticky and there are other people in the room, all she can focus on is the way Kimberly tastes like batter and sugar. Their tongues meet in the middle, and Trini feels the adoration melt through her as Kimberly presses her hands to her hips and smooths her thumbs over the material of her pajama shorts. Sucking on Kimberly’s lower lip, she is met with a moan before they’re torn apart by a gasp and they both turn their heads to see June standing with wide eyes.

 

“My _kitchen_!” June exclaims. “Trinity Santana, Alec Santiago, and Mateo Alejandro...vas a limpiar este desastre. Inmediatamente. You know better than to make messes like this.”

 

“Yes, Mami.”

 

The other Rangers go rigid as she looks them over, and Trini flushes in embarrassment. Kimberly can sense it and her hold on Trini tightens as she lifts her head to brush a gentle kiss over her hairline. Trini melts into the comfort as her eyes flutter shut and she lifts her head slightly to press one last kiss to Kimberly’s lips before she tucks herself under her chin and tries to avoid looking to where her mother stands seething.

 

“Trinity,” June snaps, and Kimberly tightens her grasp on Trini as she sees the way the woman looks between them. “No vuelvas a hacer eso delante de tus hermanos. Do I make myself clear?”

 

“Okay.” Trini murmurs.

 

“Excuse me? Speak up.”

 

“I said okay.” Trini sighs as she lifts her head.

 

“Your father might be okay with these little _sleepovers_ , but I don’t want your brothers around this. I won’t allow this kind of behavior in my home.” June hisses as she slides her glance over the teens. “I refuse to allow my daughter to be surrounded by delinquents and...and gente rara.”

 

Trini tenses as she sees her mother’s gaze slide over to Billy, “No hables de él de esa manera. Es una persona increíble. I don’t understand why you can’t just _accept_ it. Why can’t you just accept me?”

 

Trini stares at her mother who matches her glare, and she can feel the tension filling the room. All she wants is for her mother to just be okay with her life, she wishes her mother could see how much Kimberly meant to her. The edges of Trini’s vision blurs as she thinks of Kimberly, and thinks of her relationship; thinks back to the hiss of her mother’s words a few nights ago when she reminded Trini exactly who she is dating, she reminded her that Kimberly is someone who doesn’t belong in their world. She doesn’t belong anywhere near Kimberly, her mother said she was only trying to protect her but Trini knows it’s more than that; she’s allowed her mother to get in her head.

 

Kimberly barely steadies her as she folds forward, and Trini grapples onto her girlfriend as her knees begin to cave. Everything sounds like it’s under water as she feels Kimberly guide her to the floor, she looks up into her girlfriend’s tear filled eyes as she gasps for air. Her hands claw weakly at her throat and she gargles out a mouth full of blood, and she watches with wide eyes as Kimberly motions something to someone. She feels herself being rolled to the side, and she empties blood soaked flowers along the floor before she dives head first into the darkness that awaits her.

 

-

 

“Have you heard from her?”

 

Kimberly barely tears her eyes away from the punching bag, “Nope. Her phone is off, and her mom hangs up on me anytime I call her.”

 

“I’m sorry, K.” Jason frowns.

 

“She’s fine. She’s going to be fine. Her dad picked up the other day and told me that she was okay.” Kimberly mumbles as she throws quick jabs. “He said that her mom just wants her to rest right now, she doesn’t want Trini to have any stress.”

 

Jason nods slowly, “You don’t agree?”

 

“I don’t think Trini is avoiding me, they probably haven’t even told her I’ve called. I hate this.” Kimberly growls as she slams a fist against the punching bag, and she winces as her hand goes through the tough material. “Shit.”

 

“That’s your fourth punching bag in the last three months.” Jason notes as he moves to steady the bag while Kimberly slowly pulls her hand free. “You probably shouldn’t do this when you’re pissed.”

 

“Well, we haven’t really had any alien action lately so I’ve gotta take my anger out on _something_.” Kimberly scoffs as she unwraps her hands. “If you think _I’m_ bad, you should see the hole Trini put in the wall from the speed bag at the gym.”

 

“Kim, what’s going on?”

 

Kimberly pauses, “What do you mean?”

 

“You and T are together, you’re _happy._  So, why does she keep throwing up? And why does it seem to be getting worse?” Jason asks as he removes the punching bag from the hook.

 

“I haven’t said it.”

 

Jason tilts his head, “Said what?”

 

“I haven’t told her that I love her.” Kimberly murmurs. “I keep saying it in my head, over and over. Yet I can’t get the words out whenever I’m with her.”

 

“You love her?” Jason smiles.

 

“With my entire heart, Jace.” Kimberly scoffs as she shakes her head. “But...she’s scared and I can see that. She won’t believe me if I say it. I can’t keep breaking her heart.”

 

“Whoa, whoa,” Jason cuts in as he waves a hand. “How is saying you love her going to break her heart?”

 

“I don’t know, but I’m sure I’ll somehow fuck it up.” Kimberly sneers as she moves to grab her water bottle. “That’s all I seem to do when it comes to this relationship. Actually, with all of my relationships. I told you she was better off without me.”

 

Jason rolls his eyes and folds his arms over his chest, “Done with your self pity party?”

 

“It’s not a pity…”

 

“Kim, come on,” Jason scoffs. “Do you think Trini would have fallen for you if she really thought you were some awful person? Do you think that coin would’ve chose you if you’re as terrible as you think you are?”

 

Kimberly hesitates, “No.”

 

“Exactly. You’ve gotta give yourself some credit, Kimberly. You made a mistake, a big one, but you’re trying to redeem yourself. Just stop being so scared.” Jason scolds, and Kimberly simply drops her head. “I’m serious. Stop being so afraid.”

 

“What if it isn’t enough?”

 

Jason shakes his head, “You won’t know till you try.”

 

-

 

“What did your mother’s steak do to you?”

 

Kimberly looks up with a frown, “Huh?”

 

“Huh? Did you hear that, Maddy? Our intelligent daughter just said _huh_ to me. I am appalled.” Edwin scoffs, and he softens when Kimberly barely spares him a smile. “I don’t like seeing my princess so upset. What’s going on?”

 

Kimberly simply shrugs, “Nothing.”

 

“Are you feeling okay, sweetheart? You’ve been so quiet these last few days, and you look exhausted.” Madeline notes as she swaps a small glance with Edwin. “Is everything okay with Trini?”

 

“It’s fine. We’re fine.” Kimberly snaps, and she cringes slightly as she stabs a little too hard at her steak. “Mrs. Gomez just isn’t fond of me so she’s basically exiled me from Trini’s life. And she’s been sick so I haven’t seen her at school…”

 

“You know, I’d love to sit down and have a conversation with that woman.”

 

Edwin chuckles around the rim of his wine glass, “I know what a _conversation_ means when it comes to you, Maddy.”

 

“Well, Edwin,” Madeline scoffs as she narrows her eyes at her husband. “Can you blame me for being upset with the woman who is upsetting my daughter?”

 

Kimberly allows her parents to go back and forth as she continues to push her dinner around; she doesn’t really have much of an appetite, she hasn’t for three days. With a sigh, Kimberly barely pays any mind to the way her phone vibrates and she pulls it out only to rattle the table as she sees Trini’s name on her screen. Excitement buzzes through her, but it dims ever so slightly when all she sees is a text that says ‘window is open’. No heart, no smiley face. Just quick words.

 

“May I be excused?” Kimberly asks.

 

“Is your homework done?” Madeline hums, and Kimberly flashes her a look. “I assume you’ll be staying with Trini.”

 

Kimberly blushes slightly, “Why can’t you guys be like normal, oblivious parents who assume their daughter is asleep in her bed every night?”

 

“Because we’re hip.” Edwin chirps, and Kimberly simply laughs and stands to gather her plate. “Why are you laughing? I’m serious, Kimberly Ann! I can hang with the best of them!”

 

Kimberly leaves her house with laughter in her eyes and excitement rolling through her veins. She drives with the windows down and sings along to every love song that plays on the radio. By the time she reaches Trini’s, the streetlights are glowing and people are calling their kids in. Kimberly parks a few blocks down, and bounces her way to Trini’s tree before she easily maneuvers herself through the branches and to the open window.

 

“Oh, Juliet. Your Romeo is here.”

 

Trini looks up and Kimberly is momentarily stunned into silence. She stays hanging in the window as she takes in the dark rings under Trini’s eyes and she notes that the normal twinkle is gone from chocolate orbs. There was just something so clearly different with her. Kimberly notes that her girlfriend just looks... _sad._ She shakes her head and fumbles into the room before she turns to slowly close the window; she uses the moment to clear her head before she finally faces Trini and forces a soft smile onto her face.

 

“Are you okay?” Kimberly whispers. “You look…”

 

Trini flashes her a glare, “What? I don’t look like my normal self?”

 

“No, you just look tired.” Kimberly explains as she steps closer to the bed. “Trini, is something wrong?”

 

“Honestly? I’m just emotionally exhausted. I’ve been stuck with my mother and doctors for three days.” Trini snaps as she rubs at her eyes. “I’ve been checked over a thousand times, and it still isn’t good enough for my mom.”

 

Kimberly tilts her head as she moves to lower herself onto the edge of the bed before she smirks, “Anything I can do to make you feel better? A back massage? Wanna sneak out and go get coffee?”

 

“I just want you to hold me.” Trini shrugs.

 

“I can do that.” Kimberly nods as she crawls onto the bed and shifts herself into a comfortable position. “Come here, baby. I missed you.”

 

Trini ducks into Kimberly’s arms and presses her ear to her girlfriend’s chest so she can listen to her heartbeat, “I missed you too. Stay?”

 

“For as long as you want.”

 

“Forever?”

 

Kimberly drops her head to press a kiss to the top of Trini’s head, “Forever and a day.”

 

-

 

Her throat burns. Her stomach churns. Her lungs are lit with a fire that never seems to go out. Her head pounds from all the crying she’s done over the last few days. Trini can feel the cheap tile of the sink crack under the grip she has and she flexes her fingers as she spits out a mouthful of blood. Just as another flower works its way up, the door swings open and panic engulfs her but she barely has time to focus on it as she leans over and empties her stomach while hands gather her hair back. At first, she thinks it’s Kimberly but then she hears a softer, nasally voice and looks up in the mirror to meet Amanda Clark’s gaze.

 

“You done, Gomez?”

 

Trini nods as she lifts her head and Amanda quickly drops her hair, “Um, thanks for that.”

 

“Whatever. Don’t mention it.” Amanda mumbles as she turns her attention to the mirror and makes a show of fixing her lip gloss. “Wash that down the drain, it looks disgusting.”

 

“Yeah. Okay.”

 

The pair is silent as Trini flips on the sink and the water swirls with red and disappears in a flood of pink down the drain. A sigh leaves her as she stares at the rose petals that remain in the bowl, and she can feel Amanda’s heavy gaze on her. Finally, she lifts her head and sees a paper towel held out to her; she knows her expression is guarded and she can see that hesitance in Amanda’s movement, but she slowly accepts the towel and wipes her mouth.

 

Amanda huffs slightly, “Why are you dating her?”

 

“Excuse me?” Trini frowns.

 

“Kimberly. Why are you dating her? You do know what she did, right?” Amanda demands as she offers Trini another paper towel. “She isn’t the perfect little angel you think she is.”

 

“Never said I thought she was one.” Trini grumbles, and she suddenly understands just what Amanda wants from her. “If you came here to interrogate me about Kim or tell me how bad of a…”

 

“She destroyed me.” Amanda cuts in with a bitter laugh. “My own best friend. I didn’t stop crying for an entire week, and the whole time she just _lied_ about it. It was bullshit. It still is.”

 

“I agree.” Trini nods. “But Kim isn’t a monster, she just made a stupid mistake. She was insecure and pissed, and I’m not trying to condone it but she knows that she fucked up. She owned up to it.”

 

“Did she?” Amanda sneers. “I don’t hear any apologies coming from her. I mean, she’s got it all now, doesn’t she? Good friends, good grades, great hair, a girlfriend who actually cares enough to talk to the person who bullied her.”

 

“You’re not a monster either. We’re all just teens trying to figure it out. We all have our messes.” Trini shrugs as she gestures to the sink full of roses. “I mean, I’m throwing up fucking flowers.”

 

“She hasn’t said it?” Amanda mumbles as she nonchalantly glances to her nails.

 

Trini looks to Amanda and gives a short laugh, “Was it Ty?”

 

“Yeah.” Amanda replies as she scrunches her nose. “I fell in love with him, but he was dating Kim so we stopped talking and it just got worse and worse.”

 

“So, what happened?” Trini frowns. “I thought you could die…”

 

“He loves me.” Amanda whispers, and Trini sees the corners of her mouth turn up. “We just don’t want anyone to know. We just want to keep it to ourselves, we want to have something of our own. Hey, but at least you didn’t have to watch the person you love be in love with someone else.”

 

“Yeah, that must’ve sucked.” Trini cringes.

 

“That’s besides the point,” Amanda sighs as she gestures to the sink. “You need to get a hold of this, Gomez.”

 

“I’m trying…”

 

“Has she said it?” Amanda demands.

 

“No.”

 

“Do you think she does?”

 

Trini hesitates, “Why would she?”

 

Amanda flashes her a look that mixes between sympathy and irritation, and as she opens her mouth to speak the bell goes off. Just like that, the wall builds between them as Amanda sweeps her binders off the counter and gives Trini a small once over. With a single nod, Amanda whips her hair behind her shoulder before she glides to the door.

 

Amanda pauses in the doorway, “Gomez, stop fighting it. This won’t go away until you accept that somebody really does love you with everything they are.”

 

She is gone before Trini can say anything else.

 

-

 

“I think this is a terrible idea…”

 

Trini coughs softly, “It’ll be fine. I promise.”

 

“We’re missing Bio. Don’t you think that this is gonna look a little suspicious?” Kimberly asks as she closes the door behind them and curls her arms around Trini’s waist. “I don’t think we should do this.”

 

“We’re in a storage closet that nobody uses. Believe me, I’ve kept an eye on it. This one hasn’t been broken in yet.” Trini smirks as she arches onto the tips of her toes. “So, are you going to kiss me or not?”

 

Kimberly narrows her eyes at the challenge in Trini’s tone, and she is quick to turn and press her against a dust filled book case. As soon as their lips meet, Trini goes rigid and Kimberly draws away with wide eyes as she sees the discomfort on her girlfriend’s face. She recognizes the expression easily, and she frantically looks around for a bucket but all she can do is catch Trini as she stumbles forward and begins to gargle in discomfort.

 

“Hey, it’s okay.” Kimberly whispers as she slowly guides them to the floor. “Baby, it’s okay. Just...if you need to throw up then just do it.”

 

“Kim, it _hurts_.”

 

A sense of her own pain spreads through her as she listens to Trini struggle to release anything; the discomfort is evident on her face as her hands drop to grip desperately at the leather of Kimberly’s jacket. With tears in her eyes, Kimberly watches the way Trini’s throat bobs and she can see the delicate shape of the flower that is working its way up. With a gasp, Trini reaches towards her mouth and Kimberly quickly reaches for her hand to keep her from reaching inside.

 

“I-I can’t…”

 

Kimberly reaches out to cup Trini’s face and guides her head upward, “I’m so sorry, Trini. I’m so, so sorry.”

 

Finally, Trini chokes up the flower and Kimberly doesn’t move as beautiful bronze chrysanthemums coated in blood fall into her lap. She figures she deserves it, and with every tear that falls from brown, fear filled eyes, she can feel another stab in her heart. After what seems like forever, Trini pulls a lingering petal from her mouth and collapses into Kimberly with an exhausted sigh. Kimberly can feel the slick tears against her neck and she can smell the strong scent of blood, but she simply tightens her protective grasp on Trini and waits for her pounding heart to calm.

 

“You have to stop apologizing.” Trini orders as her pants slow. “Kimberly, this isn’t your fault. It’s not like any of us knew something as stupid as this would happen. It’s going to be fine, I know you guys have been working night and day to fix this.”

 

Kimberly sniffles, “How did you know?”

 

“Jason told me.” Trini whispers. “I caught him outside my window a few nights ago and tackled him when he tried to run away. We talked, and he told me how you set up shifts for everyone to watch me. To take care of me if I pass out.”

 

“I would be with you if I could, but Billy needs help and…”

 

“You don’t have to explain anything to me, Kimberly. It’s...sweet. You really care about me, huh?” Trini smirks.

 

“More than I thought was possible, more than _anything_.” Kimberly admits as she blinks back her tears. “Trini, if I could just say that…”

 

“You can’t help what you don’t feel, Kimberly.” Trini cuts in as she lifts her head to lock their gazes. “You’re here, and I know you have feelings for me and if it goes deeper than that then I’ll be fucking thrilled but if it doesn’t then I’ll be okay because I don’t regret it.”

 

Kimberly furrows her brow, “Regret what?”

 

“Falling in love with you.” Trini shrugs, and Kimberly feels her breath catch at the soft smile she is flashed. “It was probably the hardest thing I’ve ever admitted to myself, but it’s been the greatest thing to happen to me.”

 

“ _This_ is what you consider great?”

 

“I could do without the flowers.” Trini scoffs before she pushes her lower lip out. “I also want you to know that this conversation never happened, I have a badass reputation to uphold and me confessing my feelings in a storage closet is just...lame.”

 

Kimberly smiles softly, “I think it’s cute.”

 

“Whatever, you weirdo. We should get out of here before the bell rings, you need to clean up. You’re kinda...dirty.” Trini mumbles with a small cringe. “I’m sorry about that.”

 

“Don’t apologize.” Kimberly scolds as she helps Trini stand. “Only one of us should be apologizing…”

 

“What did I just tell you?” Trini huffs as she leans heavily against Kimberly. “I mean, if you _really_ want to apologize for something then maybe you should start with an apology for throwing me off that fucking cliff and losing my water bottle.”

 

Kimberly laughs, “Never. How else was I supposed to get you to fall for me?”

 

“Oh, very cute. Nice pun.”

 

-

 

“What’s this?”

 

Trini looks up from her homework to see Kimberly scrolling through her playlist, “Oh. Something I’ve been working on. It’s uh it’s just something that I’m maybe halfway through. Nothing important.”

 

“Is it for me?” Kimberly gasps.

 

“No...well, yes. Y-Yeah. Like I said, it’s a mess right now.” Trini mumbles as her cheeks flush in embarrassment. “I started writing it the other night.”

 

Kimberly bounces eagerly in the chair as she lingers over the untitled track, “Can I play it? Please, baby? It’s okay that it’s not done, I love listening to your music.”

 

“I…” Trini trails off and rolls her eyes. “Like I could tell you no.”

 

Kimberly squeaks in excitement as she turns her attention back to the computer before she eagerly presses play. The bounce of the beat rolls through the room and Kimberly immediately bobs her head as she closes her eyes. With a sigh, Trini closes her textbook before she rolls off the bed and patters to where Kimberly sits; for a moment, she allows Kimberly to get lost in the beat before she turns her chair. Brown eyes slowly meet hers, and Trini smiles shyly as she straddles Kimberly’s waist and drapes her arms over her shoulders as she bites her lower lip.

 

“Hi.” Kimberly whispers.

 

“Hi.” Trini hums as she ducks her head and presses their lips together in a soft kiss. “You know, this is what gave me some inspiration for my first verse…”

 

Kimberly pulls away and looks up at her with an amused grin, “A kiss?”

 

“Yeah, because of a kiss.” Trini nods as she rests their foreheads together. “I could do this all day, long as you by my side. We don’t care what they say, everything will be alright. Always up, never down, everytime you around. Whenever you say my name, oh I Iove way it sounds. I’ve been knowing you so long, and I never question you. You ain’t never did me wrong, always know what to do. Pick me up when I’m down, all I need is you around. Don’t you love the way that sounds?”

 

Trini watches as Kimberly’s eyes flutter shut and she can’t help but realize how much these small moments mean to her. When it’s just the two of them, especially when music is involved, everything floats away. For those few short moments when they’re pouring their hearts out to each other, nothing else exists. The hum of their reality melts off, and sometimes they can even tune out the way the heat of their power coins in their pockets. When they’re like this, Trini can’t help but think how easy it’d be to just offer her entire self to Kimberly and hope for the best.

 

“Don’t stop.” Kimberly pleads.

 

Trini laughs softly, “Two peas in a pod. Got the key to my lock. You’re the beat to my heart…”

 

She stops singing as her muse runs dry, and Kimberly looks up at her with a pout. Trini curls her fingers through Kimberly’s messy locks as the song slips onto repeat, and as she hears the sound of her own voice she presses her lips to Kimberly’s. The two are borderline brutal as teeth graze harshly over lower lips and tongues collide in a fight for dominance. With a groan, Kimberly stands and Trini instantly locks her legs around her trim waist as she grins into their next kiss. This time they’re slower, their lips graze together as Kimberly slowly lays Trini down and hovers over her with a lazy smile on her face.

 

Kimberly brushes a strand of hair from Trini’s eyes, “Are you sure?”

 

It’s such a loaded question that Trini goes rigid for a moment. This wasn’t exactly how she saw their study date going, but she knows that something in this moment feels _right_. Trini nods eagerly as she pushes at the leather on Kimberly’s shoulders until the older girl gives a soft laugh and pulls away to yank off her jacket. Their lips are together before the leather makes contact with the floor and Trini can feel the heat pooling deep in her stomach as she tries to calm her racing heart. She wants to take this slow, to explore, but she also wants Kimberly to melt into her; she wants to take the final piece of Kimberly.

 

“Shirt.” Trini pants as she scratches at Kimberly’s back and pulls at the tight material of her tanktop. “Take it off, I want you to take it off.”

 

Kimberly smiles adoringly at the complete desperation in Trini’s voice before she does as she is told and peels the material off. The second the tanktop hits the floor, Trini sits up and spreads a hand between her shoulder blades while her lips dance over her collarbone. Kimberly moans at the feeling, and her head drops back as she allows her eyes to flutter shut. Soft lips spread kisses along the swell of her breast while nimble fingers slowly work at the latch on the back of her bra. Within seconds, Kimberly is breathless as her bra is released and gentle hands are slowly guiding it down her arms before it is tossed to join her tanktop.

 

“Hey,” Kimberly breathes out as Trini dives forward, a single finger rests on full lips as she watches brows furrow. “I think you’re a little overdressed, hm?”

 

“Oh.” Trini hums against her finger. “Oops.”

 

“Oops.” Kimberly repeats with a soft laugh as she drops her hands to scratch down the length of Trini’s stomach. “You are so beautiful, Trini. I don’t think I tell you that enough.”

 

Trini blushes and her words are caught in the material of her shirt as it is guided over her head, “ _You_ are the beautiful one.”

 

“Mm, nah.” Kimberly hums as she ducks her head to flutter kisses over strong shoulders while her hands slide around to play with Trini’s bra. “You are positively breathtaking, baby.”

 

All at once, everything hits Trini as her bra is removed and her hands reach out to cradle Kimberly’s face before she guides their lips together. Warm skin collides together and Trini props herself on her elbow as her tongue dives into Kimberly’s mouth and she eagerly breathes her in. The need was clear in their kisses, and Trini swears she can feel a change between them as everything becomes more frantic; jeans and shorts are kicked off moments later and Kimberly slides from Trini’s lap as she breaks their kiss.

 

“Lift up your hips, baby.”

 

Trini immediately obeys and her hips arch off the mattress as thumbs tuck into the material of her lace boyshorts. With an undeniable tenderness, Kimberly slowly guides the material down Trini’s legs and flicks it over her shoulder before she shifts so can remove her own panties. Trini watches her with wide, swollen pupils as she licks her lips and presses her legs together in search of some type of automatic relief.

 

Kimberly looks down at Trini, takes in the way her dark locks are fanned along the bed sheets and her swollen lips are parted in a silent gasp; she swears she has never seen anything more beautiful. With a slow lick of her lips, Kimberly ducks her head and captures Trini’s lips with her own. She needs this; she needs to taste, to touch, to burn this image in her mind forever. She doesn’t ever want to forget how warm the skin in her hands feels, how Trini tastes like a mix of spring rain and something entirely _her_ , how she looks at Kimberly with so much trust and vulnerability.

 

As she draws herself away from Trini’s mouth, she trails her lips down her neck and leaves a dark bruise on her throat; she wants the entire world to know that Trini is hers. Her kisses continue down warm skin and her tongue swirls softly around a nipple while Trini whines and arches desperately into her mouth. Kimberly wants to linger, but she drags her lips down a firm abdomen because she so badly wants to taste the girl beneath her; she so badly wants to fill the girl beneath her.

 

“Kim…” Trini whispers.

 

“Shh.” Kimberly murmurs as presses a hand to Trini’s calf and watches as the girl’s legs immediately part. “I just want to take care of you.”

 

Trini gasps as she feels kisses on the inside of her thigh, “Fuck, Kim.”

 

Kimberly swallows her nerves as she continues to mark the inside of Trini’s thigh. Finally, her tongue drags along a swollen clit and Trini arches off the bed as her hand goes to twist in Kimberly’s messy waves. Kimberly loves the way that Trini seems to let go, the way her entire body gives itself over to Kimberly while she fills the air with Spanish curses and moans. She needs _more_. Kimberly almost feels bad when she pulls away from Trini and kisses her way back up her body to capture that adorable pout with her lips.

 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” Kimberly whispers against Trini’s lips before she draws back to look into hazy eyes. “I want...I just don’t want to keep hurting you.”

 

Trini shakes her head and reaches up to curl a gentle hand around the back of Kimberly’s neck, “You won’t. It’s okay. Please, Kim. Touch me.”

 

The words cause her heart to stutter and she can feel her hand shaking as she slowly slides down Trini’s abdomen and towards the warmth between her legs. Her fingers glide through silky wetness and trip over Trini’s clit all the while hips buck in search of her touch while Trini tilts her head back and grasps at the dark sheets. With gentle pressure, Kimberly sucks in a breath and slides into Trini’s core; both release groans and Kimberly squeezes her eyes shut as she revels in the feeling.

 

“Trini,” Kimberly moans as she feels Trini slowly tighten around her finger. “You feel so good.”

 

Trini blows out a long breath as she looks up at Kimberly, “More.”

 

“Baby, it might hurt.” Kimberly whispers as she continues to drag her finger along Trini’s walls. “Are you sure you want to do this?”

 

“ _Yes_.” Trini hisses as she curls her hand around Kimberly’s bicep. “Don’t stop. I want this, Kim. _Please_.”

 

Kimberly doesn’t offer Trini any other words as she slides out of Trini’s core before she glides back in with two fingers. The younger girl gasps below her and shoots up on the bed and Kimberly follows her as she holds Trini to her and scatters kisses along her bare shoulder. She gives Trini time before the girl finally collapses back on the bed and rocks her hips, and Kimberly licks her lips as she begins to thrust slowly into Trini. Everything feels like it’s moving in slow motion as Kimberly swirls her thumb along Trini’s clit while her fingers guide her closer and closer to the edge.

 

And when she is on the edge, Kimberly is there to hold her back with a soft kiss. She moans softly into Trini’s mouth at the way walls convulse around her fingers and Trini squirms beneath her weight as her face twists in pleasure. Below her, she can see the way the fire rapidly spreads through Trini as her eyes squeeze shut and her hips chase the hard thrusts of Kimberly’s fingers. And then it happens, Trini arches into her and her body shakes with every flutter of her walls while Kimberly slowly brings her down from her orgasm.

 

It takes Trini a minute to come back down and Kimberly watches her as she slowly removes her fingers. With a whimper, Trini reaches up to twist a hand in her hair and drag Kimberly into a kiss that causes stars to pop from behind her eyelids. Her body sinks into Trini’s, but she immediately tenses as Trini uses her strength of flip their bodies and lean over her with that smirk Kimberly was much too fond of.

 

“Hi.” Trini grins.

 

Kimberly smiles and reaches up to push dark locks behind Trini’s ear, “Hi, you. You don’t have to…”

 

“I _want_ to.” Trini assures her as she easily glides a hand down between Kimberly’s shaking legs. “Are you sure?”

 

Kimberly nods, “I am.”

 

“I love you, Kimberly.”

 

Fingers slide slowly into Kimberly the moment the words are processed and all she can do is choke on a gasp as her back bows off the bed. She isn’t sure what it is, maybe the way Trini is looking at her or the way she mouths the words over and over, but all Kimberly knows is that she won’t last long. Trini builds a rhythm that sends her teetering on the edge, and when a thumb glides over her clit that’s all it takes. She comes with Trini’s name on her lips and white exploding around her.

 

It takes her a moment to realize that the white is feathers.

 

“Shit.” Kimberly pants as she looks up at Trini who is now covered in feathers while her fingers lazily thrust.

 

“That was my favorite pillow.” Trini teases as she ducks her head to press a wet, sloppy kiss to Kimberly’s lips before she pulls her fingers free.

 

Kimberly rolls her eyes and wraps her arms around Trini before she rolls the squealing girl onto her back. The two curl into each other and Kimberly looks at Trini with pure devotion in her eyes, and she can feel the sudden shift in her. In her _heart_. Her hand reaches out to pluck a stray feather from Trini’s hair before she uses it to tickle at Trini’s nose, and her heart swells whenever the younger girl curls her face in response before a giggle leaves her.

 

“I love you, Trini.”

 

She isn’t sure what she expects to happen once the words leave her, but she sure as hell doesn’t expect to be covered in white daisy petals and blood a moment later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish translation:
> 
> Este no es quien eres - "This is not who you are."
> 
>  Vas a limpiar este desastre. Inmediatamente. - "You're going to clean up this mess. Immediately."
> 
> No vuelvas a hacer eso delante de tus hermanos - "Do not do that again in front of your brothers."
> 
> Gente rara - "Weird people."
> 
> No hables de él de esa manera. Es una persona increíble - "Don't talk about him like that. He is an amazing person."


	4. i'm alive if living is just a beating heart

“Hey.”

 

Dark eyes slowly lift, “Hi.”

 

“I uh I found one of your shirts in my truck, thought you might want to change.” Jason whispers as he offers the blue t-shirt to Kimberly. “I just figured you didn’t want to be covered in...I just thought you might want to change.”

 

Kimberly knows how horrible she looks. She knows she’s covered in blood, she can feel the way it dries into her shirt and skin. A sob bubbles low in her throat as she sees the flash of memories that taunt her; she can still feel the weight of Trini in her arms as she carried her limp girlfriend into the command center where she was quickly whisked from her arms. Trini is unconscious. Unresponsive. Quiet. And Kimberly doesn’t understand _why._ She said it, and she meant it; all she can think of is that she’s too late.

 

Her lower lip wobbles as she reaches for the shirt and all she can do is bury her face in the material. Jason watches her with wide eyes and he immediately squats down to rest a gentle hand on Kimberly’s knee, and the action draws a hoarse sob from her as she collapses into his arms. The pain leaks into each cry she releases, and Jason can feel tears gathering in his own eyes as he tightens his grasp on Kimberly and begins to slowly rock her.

 

“T-This is Trini’s.” Kimberly whimpers, and the words come out in between harsh breaths. “S-She bo-bought it because Billy said she looks nice in blue.”

 

Jason gives a watery chuckle at the random memory, “I remember that.”

 

“I love her. I love her so much.” Kimberly whispers as she tucks her nose into the shirt in an effort to breathe in Trini’s scent. “Jason, I love her. I can’t... _breathe_. I feel like I can’t breathe.”

 

“Hey, deep breaths.” Jason orders as he pulls away to look at Kimberly. “You need to take a breath, Kim.”

 

“I...I _can’t_ …”

 

Terrified brown orbs lift to lock with blue, and Jason feels his heart stutter. Kimberly knows she’s having a panic attack, and she can see Jason’s mouth moving but it’s like someone has stuffed cotton into her ears. As she chokes on desperate pulls of air and her vision goes hazy, all she can think of is that _this_ is what Trini must have felt. She attempts one last breath before her eyes close and she drops forward into Jason’s arms.

 

-

 

“How is she?”

 

Alpha looks away from Trini’s vitals, “She is resting comfortably at the moment, as is Mistress Kimberly.”

 

“Good.” Jason nods as he steps into the much too bright room and moves to hover over his teammate. “God. She looks so tiny. Has she always been this small?”

 

“She’s grown an inch in the last year. She now stands at exactly five feet.” Alpha announces before he rolls towards the door and pauses for a brief moment. “I hope she wakes up soon, Master Jason.”

 

“So do I, Alpha.”

 

Jason listens to the race of the tires as Alpha zips out of the tiny makeshift hospital room and leaves him to wallow. With a sigh, he collapses into the chair beside the bed and drags a hand over his face; he can’t fix this, he can’t save her, and the thought kills him. A lone tear trails down his face and Jason is quick to catch it as he gives a hard sniff and reaches out with a hesitant hand to rest it on Trini’s small wrist. He feels for her pulse and a wave of relief washes over him as he feels the steady thrum of her heartbeat from beneath her warm skin.

 

“That heart of yours better keep beating, I’m not sure what I’ll do if it stops.” Jason admits with a humorless laugh. “Trini, you have to wake up. This whole thing doesn’t make sense without you, _Kim_ doesn’t make sense without you.”

 

Trini doesn’t answer, she just sleeps on.

 

“I know she loves you because she sneaks into my room and tells me how beautiful you are, how lucky she is.” Jason smiles as he tilts his head. “She goes on and on about you, and if she didn’t have to take a breath I don’t think she’d stop.”

 

Jason shakes his head as he remembers the night Kimberly had tumbled into his room with a smile of victory and an announcement that the date had been a success. That night, the two had stayed up playing Call of Duty and Jason had listened with a smile as Kimberly went on and on about Trini. He knew then that Kimberly was in love, but he didn’t say anything. He just listened. But he knew, he always knew, there was no way that someone could talk about Trini the way Kimberly does and not be head over heels in love.

 

“She says it’s your smile,” Jason laughs. “I think she wrote an entire song about your smile. About _you._  Then again, every time she climbed through my window to talk she always had a new song written down. You’re her muse.”

 

Jason reaches out to take Trini’s hand and he shakes his head in disbelief how _small_ she is. Their youngest Ranger, their most dangerous. But as Jason stares at her, stares at her pale complexion and her taunt face, he can’t see anything but someone he failed to protect. He knows this isn’t in his hands anymore, it’s up to Trini and Kimberly. With a sigh, Jason pulls her small hand to his mouth and presses a quick kiss to her knuckles before he sets it back down and smooths her bedsheet down.

 

“You’ve gotta wake up,” Jason whispers as he leans down to rest his cheek on the bed rail while his blue eyes shine. “You and Kim are meant to be, you have a thousand more songs to write.”

 

-

 

He tries to avoid seeing her like that, he isn’t sure he can stomach it. Trini is Zack’s best friend, without a doubt. She’s the one he falls on when he can feel his world crumbling, and while she may do it with a scowl on her face, Trini never hesitates to help him rebuild over and over. His tall frame lingers in the doorway of the room, and he bites his lip at the sting in his eyes when he takes in her still form. He almost expects her to spring up with a surprise attack, to show him once again how crazy she really is.

 

“Alright, open your eyes.” Zack orders, and he swallows hard when Trini doesn’t even shift on the bed. “T, I don’t like to beg but I’m getting to the point where I’m gonna. Open your damn eyes.”

 

Trini doesn’t move and Zack allows his shoulders to slump in defeat before he patters to drop into the chair beside her bed. Alpha keeps telling them that medically, at the moment, she’s fine. She’s just sleeping. Her body needs rest. She’s going to be fine. Zack doesn’t buy it, he has heard those excuses one too many times concerning his mother. So, nobody can really fault him for sulking and thinking the worst of the situation; he knows Trini would get it, she wouldn’t shame him for it.

 

“So, Kim finally says she loves you and you fall apart? Typical you, always getting taken out by the pretty girls.” Zack teases as he shakes his head. “So, now that you know, all you have to do is _believe_ it. Well, that’s what our wall dad thinks.”

 

Zack sighs as he watches the steady rise and fall of Trini’s chest and sighs softly. He wishes Kimberly would hurry up and wake up from her nap so _she_ could be the one talking to Trini. He knows that as soon as Kimberly wakes up, she’ll be in here and shoving him out of his seat. Just the thought of their relationship makes him smile, they were so good for each other; it makes things a little better in his world, knowing how happy his friends are.

 

“Dude, I just wanna say...Kim is so in love with your crazy ass. You got her _whipped._ ” Zack teases as he reaches for Trini’s hand. “Did you know that she punched me in my face because I jokingly asked if I had a chance with you? Nobody disrespects you and gets away with it, T.”

 

He knows that memory will always stick with him because that was the second he _knew_ , that was the second he stopped worrying. Kimberly hadn’t even hesitated, a scowl had formed on her face and then she had sent a right hook straight to his jaw. He remembers laying there in a daze while Kimberly stood over him spouting out all the things she would do to him if he said anything like that again.

 

“You guys are the most badass couple in Angel Grove.” Zack smirks as he leans back the chair. “I believe in your love, so now it’s your turn. What do you say, crazy girl? Ready to wake up?”

 

Trini doesn’t move an inch, and neither does Zack for the next hour.

 

-

 

Billy fiddles with the little contraption in his hands as he sits beside Trini’s bed. He doesn’t really say much, he offers her small formulas and random facts but that’s about it. Jason told him he’s supposed to talk to Trini like she’s actually listening, but he thinks it’s a little ridiculous; Trini is unconscious and the chances of her remembering anything he says is slim to none. He’d much rather sit here and throw out a few comments here and there, he doesn’t want to _force_ it.

 

“Kimberly is awake.” Billy chirps as he twists a few wires together. “She’s gonna come in here soon, but Alpha wanted look her over first. I’m supposed to sit with you until Kim can.”

 

He glances up to watch the even rises of Trini’s chest before he sighs and sets his project aside. Seeing his friend like this, especially someone like Trini, is harder than he thought it’d be. Billy never really saw himself having friends, but he does; he has the four most important people right in front of him, and one of them is clinging to life. He wishes he could trade places with Trini. Billy wonders if this is what everyone felt when he died; it was their love that brought him back, and he knows Kimberly’s love is what will wake up Trini.

 

“Kim being in love with you is just logic. There is no you without her.” Billy shrugs as he rubs his hands down his thighs. “B-But you’re good on your own too! You’re funny and you make me fajitas with extra chicken cause I like it so much. You’re such a good person, Trini. Kim is lucky.”

 

Billy nods as he sees Trini’s finger twitch.

 

“Jason says that you guys are forever, and I hope you are. She makes you smile, and isn’t that love is? Smiling.” Billy frowns. “I remember my dad used to make my mom smile all the time. You remind me of my mom, Trini. I think all Kim has to do is kiss you and you’ll wake up.”

 

Billy frowns as he thinks of his mother, thinks of how his parents had to close their book before they could reach happy ever after. He knows his mother would give anything to have his father back, and Billy doesn’t blame her. He sees a lot of that behavior in Kimberly, he sees how desperate she is. It warms and breaks him all in one go; he wishes his parents had the chance that Kimberly and Trini do.

 

“I think…” Billy trails off slightly as he furrows his brow and hesitantly reaches out to rest a hand on Trini’s. “I think if my mom had the chance, she’d kiss my dad awake. They didn’t get their happy ever after, but you and Kim will. I know it.”

 

Or at least, he hopes they do.

 

-

 

“Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

 

Kimberly rolls her eyes as she pulls her leather jacket over her form, “I’m fine. I just want to see Trini.”

 

“Alpha says you should be resting.” Zack frowns as he steps in the room behind Billy and Jason. “Trini is fine, she hasn’t moved. You should get some more sleep.”

 

“I’ll sleep once Trini wakes up. I’ve already been out for three hours.” Kimberly mumbles as she slides off her cot and flips her hair from the jacket collar. “Has anyone texted Trini’s dad?”

 

“Yeah. I told him that Trini was helping me with my mom, he gave the okay.” Zack nods. “I feel pretty shitty hiding this from T’s parents, they should know about what’s going on with her.”

 

“And what are we supposed to tell them? Your daughter is passed out, borderline dying, because _I_ couldn’t say how I felt? Because I couldn’t own up to the truth and I let her _hurt_ for the past six months? Should we tell them how much of a failure her girlfriend is?”

 

Jason steps forward, “Kim…”

 

“No!” Kimberly shakes her head as she runs a hand through her hair. “ _I_ am the reason she is like this, once again I hurt someone I love because of fear. But I won’t lose her, I _won’t.”_

 

“Nobody said you wanted to,” Zack assures her. “I didn’t mean to upset you, dude. I just thought maybe Mr. Gomez should know about T but you’re right...it’d probably be easier to explain that we’re Power Rangers than even attempt to explain this.”

 

Kimberly swallows hard and nods, “I’m going to go see her.”

 

The boys don’t argue as she spins on her heel and walks out of the room. The walk seems to take forever, and Kimberly narrowly missed colliding with Alpha as she turns into the room. Normally, the Android would stay and go on about something Kimberly couldn’t care less about but he simply spares her a glance before he leaves her to walk towards the bed. Kimberly sighs sadly as she stands and looks down at her girlfriend; she’s only sleeping, but Kimberly feels like she’s a million miles away.

 

“Hey, you.” Kimberly whispers as she leans down to press a kiss to Trini’s head. “Sorry I’ve been MIA, I uh kinda passed out. You’re gonna have a field day with that, aren’t you?”

 

Kimberly expects to hear something sarcastic, but Trini is silent as her chest rises and falls. With a nervous bite at her lower lip, Kimberly lowers herself to sit on the edge of the bed as her fingertips slowly trace over Trini’s perfect jawline. Underneath her touch, the warm skin causes her heart to swell and the tears to build as she swallows around the lump in her throat while a lone tear slowly falls onto Trini’s chest.

 

“I love you.” Kimberly sniffles as she drops her forehead to Trini’s. “I love you so much that it _aches._  You’re everything to me, Trini. You have literally become my entire world, and I don’t know what I’ll do if I lose you. Come back to me. Please, baby.”

 

Trini doesn’t move.

 

Kimberly sits in relative silence as she watches the steady leap of Trini’s vitals on the machine nearby. She bites her lip as she continues to stare at it, and she barely pays any mind to anyone who wanders into the room. While her gaze stays trained on the machine, her head is a million miles away; she is currently stick in a never ending loop of memories that center around the woman sleeping in the makeshift hospital bed.

 

She thinks about how all of this mess started, how her fears almost cost her one of the best things in her world. Her memories swim and glide into a brief hint of remembrance concerning their first kiss, how gentle Trini was with her. Kimberly thinks of how beautiful Trini looked as she stared at her with messy hair and a sated smile; Kimberly knows that was the moment she was a goner, it was the moment she knew she wanted to spend the rest of forever with Trini.

 

Kimberly bites her lip and looks down at her lap as she tries to fight back her tears. This wait was killing her, and she needs something to happen. She needs Trini to wake up. Kimberly desperately wishes she could lash out at someone, _anyone._  But she knows it won’t change a thing, she knows it won’t bring Trini back to her; so she bites back her irritation and pain, and resides herself to wait.

 

“Hey, Kim.”

 

Kimberly glances over her shoulder and forces a smile as Zack walks in, “Hey. Where are Billy and Jason?”

 

“Billy is going through some stuff with Alpha, they want to speed up Trini’s nap.” Zack shrugs as he stands beside her. “And Jason is currently beating up a bunch of putties to keep his mind off things.”

 

“Maybe I should join him.” Kimberly scoffs as she looks down at Trini. “I don’t know how much longer I can just sit here and _stare_ at her. I’m completely useless to her right now.”

 

“Not entirely.” Zack frowns.

 

Kimberly looks up at him, “What do you mean?”

 

“Sing, Kimberly.” Zack orders as he nods his head towards Trini before a small smile appears on his face. “If I know one thing about this crazy girl it’s that she loves your voice.”

 

“She asked me to never stop singing to her. And I wouldn’t. Ever. It's a bit of a cliche though.” Kimberly whispers even as she turns back to Trini. “Is that what you want? For me to sing? All you had to do was ask.”

 

Zack shakes his head as he hears Kimberly begins to him, after a small glance to Trini he slowly leaves the room. Kimberly focuses on Trini as she hums, and she smiles as she takes in the woman who owns every piece of her heart. When she was younger, Kimberly swore up and down that there was no way someone could fall in love when they were in high school but here she sits proving herself wrong. The love Kimberly has for Trini is overwhelming, it almost hurts to think about.

 

“This world can race by far too fast. Hard to see why it’s all flying past. But it’s clear now, when you’re standing here now, I am meant to be wherever you are, next to me.” Kimberly grins as she lifts Trini’s hand to her lips before she dances kisses over her knuckles. “All I want to do is come running home to you, come running home to you. And all my life I promise to keep running home to you…”

 

Trini’s finger twitches.

 

Kimberly freezes and sees another finger slowly twitch, “That’s my girl. Come on, baby. Believe me, listen to me. Come home to me, Trini. I have never loved anyone or anything as much as I love you...”

 

Kimberly opens her mouth to continue pleading, but she feels herself go breathless as she hears the barest hint of a sigh. And she knows that sigh, she has heard it a million times; during boring study dates, while listening to Jason give his daily speeches, and after kisses that cause fireworks. Kimberly shifts in her seat with eager eyes and it takes a few seconds before she sees Trini’s head move, and not long after her tongue shoots out to moisten her lip.

 

“Kim?”

 

Trini doesn’t know why she feels like she does. The sensation is odd, she feels like her stomach and throat are raw. She feels dry and heavy, like someone has wrapped her in that scratchy blanket her father loves so much. And she’s cold. She can feel herself shiver as she attempts to shift, but she knows her body isn’t moving. With another soft sigh, Trini wills herself to roll her head and once she does a small smile appears on her face as she sees familiar messy hair and wide eyes.

 

“Trini?”

 

“So, I didn’t kick the bucket?”

 

Kimberly gives a soft laugh of disbelief and she feels a little bit dizzy with shock. She can feel that heavy ache slowly loosen as her heart begins to beat faster. Trini is okay. It’s finally over, and they now had a chance; a chance Kimberly knows she won’t cast aside. Tears fill her eyes as she reaches down to touch Trini’s cheek and she feels her girlfriend immediately shiver against her touch before her dry lips slowly twist up into that familiar smirk.

 

Trini blinks slowly and she can feel the dull throb of pain in her throat, and it takes her a moment to realize she can _breathe_. Trini coughs and nothing comes up, and the pain slowly fades from her body. Beside her, Kimberly releases a sob of relief as she cups her face and draws her forward to rest their foreheads together. Trini gives a watery smile, one that lights up her eyes and sends a flutter straight through Kimberly’s heart and her hands move to twine themselves in a blue t-shirt as she sighs and slowly closes her eyes.

 

“Water?” Trini whispers.

 

Kimberly nods as she reluctantly pulls away and turns to grab her abandoned water bottle. Trini winces as she rubs at her neck and thinks of her throat that she knows has been ripped raw. A soft hand tips her chin up and Trini eagerly latches onto the water bottle as she sucks in as much as she can before she pulls away with a harsh cough. Kimberly is there in an instant, the water bottle is left on the bedside table and Trini is one again grabbing a hold of Kimberly as her eyes close once more and she scrunches nose in exhaustion.

 

“You’re okay.” Kimberly breathes out, the awe clear in her voice. “God, Trin. I was so scared. I thought...I was so scared that I had lost you. But you’re here. You’re okay. A-And I love you.”

 

Trini rasps out a laugh, “I love you more.”

 

“I don’t think that’s possible.” Kimberly scoffs as she reaches for Trini’s hand before she draws it to her chest and rests it over her thundering heart. “Do you feel that? My heart is going crazy, and it’s all because of you. This heart, _my_ heart, it’s yours. Forever.”

 

“Same.” Trini hums.

 

“You’re tired. Somehow you're tired.” Kimberly notes as she pulls away and moves a piece of hair behind Trini’s ear. “You should probably get some sleep, babe.”

 

“I have a lifetime to sleep.” Trini yawns as she pulls Kimberly’s shirt until the woman is fumbling into her. “You’re not going anywhere. Stay with me.”

 

“Oh, baby,” Kimberly laughs as she ducks her head to brush their lips together. “You couldn’t make me leave, even for a million dollars. I’m never letting go.”

 

“Wait, wait,” Trini frowns as she pulls away with a scowl. “You better leave if someone offers you a million dollars.”

 

Kimberly laughs and shakes her head as she pulls away and brushes a strand of hair from her face, “Anything you need?”

 

“You.” Trini whispers as she holds a hand out and wiggles her fingers. “Will you come lay down with me?”

 

“I don’t know, babe. You really need to get some rest, and I just don’t think me laying with you with provide that.” Kimberly teases as she playfully narrows her eyes. “I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands to myself for too long.”

 

“Come here.” Trini orders with a pout.

 

Kimberly laughs at the expression and tilts her head, “I’m right here.”

 

“No. Here.” Trini huffs as she points to the empty space beside her. “Please, Kim? I need you right here.”

 

With a sigh, Kimberly gives into the order and climbs onto the bed beside her girlfriend. Trini hums in contentment as she turns into Kimberly’s side, and arms immediately curl around her as soft fingertips dance over her back. For a moment, the pair is silent as they lay together and listen to the distant sound of the boys training; Kimberly figures they’ll eventually come this way and then she’ll tell them Trini is awake, but for now she just wants a moment alone.

 

“I love you.” Trini mumbles.

 

“I love you more.” Kimberly smiles.

 

“Don’t leave me.” Trini yawns.

 

Kimberly kisses the top of her head, “I’m not going anywhere.”

 

-

 

Kimberly wakes up to a bright light, and she blinks furiously in an attempt to shut it out. Unconsciously, her hand swings in search of the offending object and she scowls as she wraps her hand around a phone before she turns her gaze to a sleepy eyed Trini. Kimberly yawns softly as she fumbles to turn off Trini’s phone, and the younger woman huffs as it powers off before she rolls her eyes and tosses it to the end of the bed. With a soft hum, Kimberly moves to curl into Trini as her eyes grow heavier with each second that passes.

 

“What are you doing up?” Kimberly mumbles as she kisses Trini’s neck. “You need to be sleeping.”

 

“My dad texted me, and then my mom did. They were just worried about me. Apparently I’m staying at Zack’s to help with his mom?” Trini frowns as she looks down at Kimberly.

 

Kimberly nods and yawns, “We didn’t know what else to tell them. We figured Alpha was going to make you stay here tonight so we planned ahead.”

 

“Oh.”

 

“Are you okay, baby?” Kimberly asks.

 

“Can you two keep it down over there? Some of us are trying to sleep.” Zack snaps, and Trini is quick to sit up with wide eyes as she sees him sprawled across an air mattress.

 

“What is he doing here?” Trini demands as she takes in Zack before she sees Billy and Jason passed out alongside him. “Why are they all here?”

 

“ _I’m_ trying to sleep.” Zack huffs.

 

“They refused to leave. I tried to convince them to sleep in another pod area, but they wanted to be in here.” Kimberly sighs. “I think they’re all just worried about you, it’s kind of adorable.”

 

Kimberly was insistent that they left at first, but one look at Zack’s pitiful pout, Billy’s furrowed brow, and Jason’s wide blue eyes had her changing her mind. She understands their need to be near Trini, she herself knows that it’s going to be near impossible to drop her off as if nothing happened. As if the last six months were all a dream. As she lays there, she can’t help but realize how unreal everything feels; it’s almost humorous how anticlimactic everything is.

 

“He’s annoying.” Trini whines.

 

“Shut up, Crazy Girl,” Zack pleads as he lifts his head long enough to shoot them both a glare. “Does us all a favor and kiss each other goodnight and then go sleep, alright? We’re exhausted!”

 

“Why just a goodnight kiss though? I can do better than that.” Kimberly teases as she glides a hand up Trini’s stomach. “Maybe I can _force_ them out of the room.”

 

“No!” Billy pleads. “I’m sleepy.”

 

“Ignore them, Billy. They’re just being annoying.” Jason grumbles as he sweeps his red blanket over his head and rolls into the soft material. “Good going, Zack.”

 

With a roll of her eyes, Kimberly looks up at Trini and her girlfriend is quick to tug at her until she is hovering over a smirk. After a moment, Trini arches up to capture Kimberly’s lips; it wasn’t anything passionate, or anything close to the kisses that left her breathless. No, this one is a statement. Smiling into the kiss, Kimberly makes a show of moaning as she playfully rocks the bed.

 

“Oh my God! No!” Zack yells as he quickly sits up.

 

Trini chuckles against Kimberly’s lips as she carefully pushes her off, “Hell no are we doing anything with you three losers in the room.”

 

“M’not a loser.” Billy scoffs.

 

“Of course not. I didn’t mean to include you in that, Bluebell. You are wonderful, and I’m glad you’re here.” Trini assures him, and Kimberly can only laugh as she hears him clap. “And Jason is okay too.”

 

“What about _me_?” Zack demands.

 

“What about you?” Trini shrugs as she rolls into Kimberly who is quick to gather her in her arms. “Be quiet over there or something really will happen. Go to sleep.”

 

“You first.” Zack snaps.

 

“How about we all go to sleep?” Kimberly suggests through a yawn. “We’ve had a long six months, we deserve a good night’s rest for once.”

 

Mumbles of agreement sound while Trini lifts her head, “Goodnight, Kim. Sweet dreams.”

 

“Sweet dreams, Trini.” Kimberly whispers.

 

And for the first time in six months, Kimberly dreams of something other than dead flowers and Trini’s lifeless eyes.

 

-

 

Everything is almost _normal._

 

For those six months, Trini’s world hinged on life and death but now everything is clear. The pain has long since faded, and Trini finds herself happier than ever. She trains just a little harder. She fights just a little bit faster. And she loves so much stronger. Trini smiles to herself as she looks around the room and sees her fellow Rangers lazily playing with their phones or doing their homework; it’s another Saturday detention, and they’re all buzzing to leave so they can head down to the pit. Just as Trini reaches for her pen, the buzz of something catches her attention and she looks up in time to grab the note.

 

**_YOU’RE SMILING! WHAT ARE YOU PLOTTING?_ **

 

Trini rolls her eyes and turns to glare at Zack who simply winks in response. With a huff, Trini makes a show of crumpling up his note and tossing it aside, and her best friend simply pouts and presses an offended hand to his chest. With a small laugh, Trini turns back around just as a note enters her line of sight and her go wide as she catches it between two fingers and slowly unfolds it.

 

**Is Zack annoying you? If he is, I’ll just make him train harder today. I’ll even force him to spar you!**

 

Trini laughs at Jason’s note and looks up to see him smiling back. With a shake of her head, she scribbles out a response before she tosses the paper. She doesn’t have time to watch as Jason catches it before another note slices through the air and lands in her hands. Across the room, Billy beams and gives her a wave that she returns with a smile of amusement clear on her face.

 

**I like your shirt.**

Mirth lights up her eyes as she reads the words before she writes back to him and reminds him that he loaned it to her. With a quick glance around, Trini turns in her chair and launches the note across the room, and Billy barely bats an eye as he keeps his eye on his advanced chemistry homework whole his other hand reaches up to snatch the note. Finally, a pink parchment zips into her line of vision and her heart thuds as she carefully unfolds it and scans it over.

 

**Hey, gorgeous. Come over after training tonight? I want some alone time. By the way, if I haven’t told you today, I love you.**

Trini swallows hard as she reads the letter over and takes the words in. With a smile of adoration, Trini responds to the letter with the same sentiment and a promise for a sleepover before she flicks it Kimberly’s way. After that, the notes continue to circle around the room with the other students completely oblivious to it all; Trini grins as she settles back in her chair, she’s never been a fan of normal and she’s so glad that her life isn’t.

 

-

 

“Well, somebody fucked up your garden…”

 

Kimberly turns her head and beams at the sight of Trini, “I convinced my parents that flowers were so last season. We’re replacing them with a tree and a vegetable garden. We’re going green.”

 

“Oh?” Trini hums as she keeps her hands laced together behind her back. “And why the sudden change?”

 

“Looking at flowers makes me want to rip apart the world. It’s probably gonna be like that for a while.” Kimberly admits as she drops the shovel in her hands. “I’d rather not have them around me.”

 

Trini arches an eyebrow, “You loved your rose garden.”

 

“Yeah, but I love you more and roses almost took you away.” Kimberly reminds her as she steps closer to Trini. “Right now, I just...I can’t look at flowers. I know it’s stupid, but I just _can’t._ ”

 

“I’m here.” Trini assures her as she offers her hand to Kimberly before she tugs her forward. “And I’m not going anywhere, alright? It’s over.”

 

Kimberly sighs and nods, “I know.”

 

“So, what do you say we move on and try to forget it?” Trini suggests as she arches her head up to press a gentle kiss to Kimberly’s lips. “As much as I despise garden work, want some help?”

 

“Of course.” Kimberly grins.

 

“I should probably change,” Trini hums as she glances down at her leather jacket. “I don’t want to ruin this.”

 

“Good. Because…” Kimberly smirks as she tugs at the sides of Trini’s jacket. “ _This_ is mine. So, is the shirt you’re wearing.”

 

Trini rolls her eyes, “I had to sneak out of your window, and _somebody_ was impatient last night and ripped my shirt off. Did you want me running through Angel Grove in my bra?”

 

“No.” Kimberly frowns as she ducks her head to press her lips to Trini’s.

 

“I figured.” Trini whispers as she pulls away from the kiss with a smile, but it slowly dips away as she sees Kimberly’s wondering expression. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

 

“I’m going to marry you some day.”

 

Trini falters as her eyes widen, “What?”

 

“I’m going to marry you.” Kimberly shrugs before she sweeps a strand of hair from Trini’s eyes. “You see, the jacket and the shirt are both mine and what is underneath them belongs to me too...your heart, not your boobs. And there’s no way I’m giving it up.”

 

“Marriage?” Trini smirks. “Already?”

 

“Uh huh. We’re going to be one of those annoying couples that get married our senior year.” Kimberly teases, and her smile widens at Trini’s laugh. “What? I’m serious! You don’t think I’m serious?”

 

“I won’t think you’re serious until there’s a ring on my finger. Put your money where your mouth is, Hart.” Trini orders as she shoves weakly against her girlfriend. “And get ready for all hell to break loose because my mother will _never_ let that happen.”

 

Kimberly tilts her head, “What about you?”

 

“What about me?” Trini frowns.

 

“Would you let it happen?” Kimberly asks in a soft voice as her expression suddenly turns shy. “If I asked you to marry me…”

 

“I would say yes.” Trini cuts in as she strings her arms around Kimberly’s neck. “I grew an entire bouquet of flowers for you, it’s only fair you buy the ring.”

 

“Cute.” Kimberly chuckles as she drops her head to rest their foreheads together before she nuzzles her nose again Trini’s. “Some day, yeah?”

 

“Some day.” Trini nods.

 

Kimberly presses their lips together and lingers for a long moment, “I love you.”

 

Trini wants to say it back to Kimberly a million more times. And she does, over and over; she keeps saying it as they leave behind a dead garden of flowers and set towards their waiting future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And that was all she wrote! I sincerly hope y'all enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you so much for every word of encouragement, every review, every kudos...just all of it. Thank you for being angels. Until next time!

**Author's Note:**

> Flower meanings in the order that Trini produced them:
> 
> -Nightshade means dark thoughts
> 
> -White daisy means hope
> 
> -Yellow rose means jealousy
> 
> -Purple hyacinth means forgive me
> 
> -Willows mean sadness
> 
> -Blue salvia means I think of you
> 
> -Yellow carnation means rejection
> 
> -Marigolds mean secret affection
> 
> Kimberly’s song is Say Nothing by Naomi Scott: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=4civR8FWY8E


End file.
